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I am a strict Pastafarian (see our website,
http://www.venganza.org/index.htm for more information), but am stuck in
a difficult place with regards to my Celiac Disease.

For our Holy Communion, we eat a small portion of uncooked pasta and
cold marinara sauce which transubstantiates in our bodies into the
original cooked Spaghetti and warm Tomato Sauce of our holy Lord.

I have spoken to the priest at our church about my inability to digest
wheat products, but he told me that the host must contain some gluten in
order to transubstantiate into the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I even told
him that the soy-potato pasta I have tastes the same, but he says taste
isn't what's important.

I don't understand. Am I broken? How can I handle this?

Thank you in advance for your help.

Sincerely,
John Woods


"For thine is the colander, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever.
Ramen."

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