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Hi all,
I want to thank all of the people who have showered me with an outpouring
of both support and helpful suggestions.  I received 45 replies to my post,
and will try over the next week to answer them individually...  Most who
wrote expressed sympathy and support for me, thank you all.

Several offered suggestions about how to deal with this type of situation..
1.  Tell the offending party that gluten to me is like rat poison to them.
Would they knowingly eat a piece of cheese that had been sitting on the
same plate as a tin of rat poison?  Probably not.  I liked this analogy,
except that in my case, they would, of course think I am too much of a
fanatic.

2.  Equate my consuming gluten in small amounts to a car engine to which a
grain of sand is added every day.  It will be fine today, tomorrow, and
next week, but in a year it won't.  The same is true of a celiac that
consumes, just "a little bit of gluten" every day.  I really like this
suggestion; it is something that my family will more likely respond to.

3.  Give them a flip response back.  I will quote the sender, as this gave
me a good belly laugh.
" If I am not careful, then anywhere from a few hours to a few days after I
eat gluten I develop profuse, fetid diarrhea and explosive vomiting. I also
develop such intense, painfully itchy blisters that it feels as if maggots
are crawling under my skin, and I cannot help but flay myself until I am raw
and bloody trying to soothe the itch. If you would care to watch, I will
contact you when the reaction begins."  Thanks Marne, I'm not sure I would
have the nerve to say this, but it sure is fun to think about!

4. Educate, educate, educate; and try to do it without a chip on my
shoulder.  This is the key.  Give people reading material from this list,
from research papers, from books such as: Against the Grain or Bette
Hagmen's book introductions.  Do it in a way that is non threatening and at
a time when food is not an immediate issue.

There were two responses from celiacs that felt that the situation I
described was not something to take issue with, and felt I should have let
it ride.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I respect theirs.
However, that is not the way I choose to approach my condition.  I do not
want to face lymphoma, osteoporosis nor the long term affects of
malnutrition years down the road.  I have worked to hard to get where I am
today.  But thank you for your input.

Thanks again to all who responded,
Moira
Denver, CO