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Blame It On the Lymphocytes
(Parody by Paul T. Jackson of “Blame It On The Mistletoe” by Keith Toby)
 
 
The middle of December ain’t the time to dine alone
It’s just too close to Christmas
And too lonely at home.
Someone from our support group
Stood near me in checkout line
She said, “I’ve spent too much already
And some brands I just can’t find”
I told her that I used to eat wheat, barley and rye
Not sure what would happen then;
Mismanagement would try
 
Blame it on the lymphocyte
‘Cause what happened there nobody knows
How could something common as those grains
Cause my holiday to change
 
So we shared brown rice recipes
And nutrients for celiac disease
I dreamt gluten free that night
Blame it on the lymphocyte
 
I called her up, she took her multivitamin
And asked me what form I took mine in
We both are feeling four times likelier to live
For Christmas, I gave her a toaster with defrost
She gave me a new colander and sieve
At home or out, there’s added cost
She responded with: 
 
Blame it on the lymphocyte
‘Cause what happened there nobody knows
How could something common as those grains
Cause my holiday to change
 
 
For more fun-but-serious celiacal (yes, celiacal) song parodies, please visit my profileon Gluten Free Faces. There (http://www.glutenfreefaces.com/profile/PaulThomasJackson), you will find them in my blogs!

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