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I have been bringing my son hot lunches every day for the last year.  I
have had no problem with the school since he had missed so much school (two
full terms at that point), they were happy to have him there, and if this
is what it took, so be it.  The thing that people may have missed is the
social element of the hot lunch.  At his school, everyone has a hot lunch,
they eat together, they are expected to make conversation and be polite and
eat properly with a knife and fork. I imagine that if I had insisted that
he be allowed to bring a sandwich every day they would have been more
upset.  The other thing is that he is a good student, with no behavioural
problems, so we didn't get any of the negative stuff about spoiling or
picky kids, etc. I agree with all the points other people have made - I
absolutely do not trust caterers, other mothers, even family members
(except my husband) to follow Sam's diet rigourously ( one famous incident:
a friend's mother went to great lengths to acquire gluten-free hot dogs,
then served them on ordinary buns!).  If it is important enough to worry
about, it is important enough to do yourself.  All the same, every day at
one o'clock I do wonder what else I could be doing. Then I answer myself -
I could be looking after him at home as he would be too sick to go to
school.
Cheers

Susan Loube in Dublin, Ireland