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I just attended my husband's employer's Christmas party, which was held
at one of the more expensive local restaurants.  The original menu
options were either beef wellington (which is a filet wrapped in pastry)
or stuffed chicken breast (breaded).  The coordinator of the party was
very helpful and understanding, and worked with the head of the kitchen
and I to develop an acceptable alternative for me.

After we were seated, I explained to the waiter that I was the one who
needed the special meal.  He had to go back to the kitchen to have a
plain salad made up, but I found what looked like crouton crumbs in it.
So I didn't have salad.  Then (of course!) when the main course was
served, someone had "interpreted" the careful, detailed instructions we
had negotiated and agreed upon to mean "beef wellington, no sauce."  I
complained, the waiter called down to the kitchen, and it appeared that
my special meal instructions had been "lost."  So they cooked me a
little filet which (despite assurances) appeared to have been sprinkled
with a seasoning other than salt, and some mashed potatoes that had
definitely been mixed with flavorful substances totally unknown.  The
tablespoon of vegetables provided on the side was the only thing that
appeared safe -- steamed with nothing on them.  So everyone at the table
took pity and passed their vegetables to me, which I ate with the rice
cakes I carry in my purse.

The party coordinator was livid.  Unfortunately, no one on duty that
night knew anything about my special meal.  She called the management
the next day to reitterate that one of her guests has a condition where
ingestion of wheat flour "triggers a potentially life-threatening
reaction," and that the kitchen had compltetely disregarded her careful
instructions for accomodating said guest.  She told me later that the
guy on the phone was a little snooty (he said the restaurant had a
"policy" under which it could not guarantee a special meal such as the
one we had negotiated) until he realized she was calling from our
state's oldest law firm.  Suddenly, he became most accomodating.

In the end, it looks as though I will be getting a $60 check as
compensation for my missed dinner (a gift certificate was unacceptable
for obvious reasons), and a written apology from the restaurant.

Overall, I find the best way to handle these situations is to keep a
sense of humor.  I was unhappy to discover that all of the careful
planning had been for naught, but the overall effect was that everyone
in my husband's firm is now extremely aware of and sympathetic to my
dietary restrictions, and we all have something to joke about for the
next twenty years.  They are already "planning" next year's dinner where
everyone else will eat rice cakes and steamed vegetables while I have
filet mignon!

Shawn Anderson
Juneau, Alaska