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Hi Kay.  My almost 9 year-old son was diagnosed with Celiac Disease 6
years ago (in fact, I think it is actually 6 years ago today).  I
remember feeling the same way when he was diagnosed, wondering how he
would have a normal life with birthday parties, school hot lunches, etc.
 Well, let me reassure you - you learn how to make your child's life
normal and it can be done if you are willing to work hard at it.

Birthdays can be particularly difficult but Michael is now rarely left
out.  In fact this week-end he attends his third party this month!!
When he was a pre-schooler he often only got invited to his cousins'
birthdays and that was okay with us because we were so paranoid about
his diet.  Our siblings were very careful and bent over backwards to
accomodate Michael's diet - they even tried making gf cakes.  They
always got gf pop, chips, ice cream and treats for the treat bag.  I
used to spend an awful lot of time on the telephone helping to plan
birthday parties, and I usually attended just to be sure he ate the
proper foods.  In kindergarten he began getting invited to friends'
parties.  Now in this part of Canada, kindergarten is part of the public
school system so he was for the first time developing a peer group
outside of his own family circle.  I was afraid that no one would ask
him to parties, and in fact, that year and the next year he was only
asked to a few.  However, each time I made a point of calling the
parents of the birthday child to ask about the menu.  I never asked them
to accomodate Michael but suggested that I send similar gf food and
asked that they heat it up.  So if they were having hot dogs, I sent a
gf hotdog and bun for Michael.  I still do this for every event.  Many
folks were willing to buy gf treats for the treat bags and if they
didn't, Michael just gave his little brother his unsafe treats.

For me the key has been to make it as easy as possible for the other
parents.  When they commented on his diet I always hastened to say that
I usually send his food to parties and other events.  Over the past
couple of years Michael has been playing hockey and attending Scouting
events with the boys from our community.  Each time they have a pizza
party or some other event with food, I send gf equivalents for Michael.
Parents have seen this over the years and their comfort levels have
risen accordingly.  The next time, and every time afterwards, any parent
makes a comment about how restrictive your child's diet is, you should
reassure them by saying something like ' Oh, it's not so bad.  I can
always send food safe for my child'.  In fact, the parents at McDonalds
could have been told that there are safe foods there and your child
could have attended quite easily.  The next time they would have
remembered that!

Another key element is teaching your child to be responsible for his own
diet.  When Michael was three years old we used to get him to recite the
ingredients that weren't safe, even though he couldn't even say
'hydrolized vegetable protein' properly (he also had speech delay which
is common in CD kids I guess).  We had him reading labels with us by
kindergarten and now at 9 years of age we can trust him to decide what
is safe or to ask us what we think about a particular product.  Parents
see this ability to make his own dietary decisions as a BIG plus because
it takes the responsibilty off their shoulders.  I often hear comments
on how great it is that they can rely on Michael to tell them what he
can or can't have when he is over at their homes playing with their
kids.

Hope this helps.  Please feel free to contact me any time if you have
questions.  I wish that I had been able to 'talk' to someone with an
older CD kid when Michael was starting school and getting involved in
activities.  Let me tell you that most people don't even realize that he
has any medical problems - he plays hockey and soccer, swims, goes to
Cubs and summer camps without problem.  Life CAN be normal for CD kids
if your family really works at it.

Janet Thomas
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