Priggy.  Priggy. Priggy.  Here little Priggy.

Are you suggesting it's better to do than to read?

Someday teenagers grow up.

Nothing like education from knowledgeable sources.

S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Laura Cleveland" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, May 08, 2000 4:34 PM
Subject: Re: [DateAbilities] GETTING TO KNOW YOU SURVEY FOR SINGLES


> Excuse me! I thought we had teenagers on this list! Do you think your
> answer to # 20 is appropriate--i.e. would you want Amber reading a
response
> such as this?
> L.
>
> ----------
> > From: Trisha Cummings <[log in to unmask]>
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: [DateAbilities] GETTING TO KNOW YOU SURVEY FOR SINGLES
> > Date: Monday, May 08, 2000 1:10 PM
> >
> > Hi Mike,
> >
> >        Cool, did you think of this? I altered some of the questions to
> bring
> > out the more inportant points. I am not looking for anyone to date at
the
> > moment - I am dating 3 guys now - all of whom think I walk on water -
> which
> > of course I do - in the form of ice!! LOL But I answered anyway!!
Several
> of
> > the questions required a bit of bathtub mulling time.
> >
> >
> > > 1.  When is your birthday?  6/22/53  (46 for at least another month)
> > >
> > > 2.  Have you ever been married, and if so how many times ( not an
> > > unreasonable now - with the third divorce rate up to 16%)?  Yes, 3
> times
> > >
> > > 3.  Do have a child/ren, anything special about them?  Yes, one living
> > > daughter with Cerebral Palsy, and one Angel.
> > >
> > > 4.  Do you have a recent (within a year) photo of yourself you can
> attach
> > > to
> > > e-mail or on a web page I can see? I would drop this to then end and
> then
> > > rephrase - I never reply to anyone who has to have my pricture - they
> are
> > > just too shallow. It is far better to get to know someone's
personality
> > > than see them. Our preception or feelings  about people color our view
> of
> > > their looks. I would place no emphasis on looks - 30 seconds can turn
> Ms.
> > > America into Ms. Frankenstein.
> > >
> > >
> > > 5.  Do you practice any religion?  Paganism
> > > If so, where do you attend religious services? Mount Vernon Unitarian
> > > Church, and as a Pagan Preistess I hold circles at my house.
> > >
> >              More inportantly than what the label of the religion is and
> is
> > how spiritually motivated the person is - you need to find out if they
> are
> > tolerant to others beliefs. I date across faiths, I am dating a
> Unitarian, a
> > Jew and a Quaker - at the moment. The only set of beliefs I place
outside
> of
> > consideration for any prolonged exporsure to - is the cult - Born Again
> > Christians. I adore going to Mass, and Unitarian services.
> >
> > > 6.  Are you employed? Fulltime or part-time   Yes, both
> > >      What's your employment? Fulltime I am a Data Analyst, and
> part-time I
> > > am a fine jewelry associate in a marjor department store.
> > >
> >            Additional ask about education and degrees.
> >         What is your education level? Post Graduate
> >         What is any degrees do you hold? I have a BS in CIS
> >         What id an future educational plans do you have - I am 2 courses
> > from my first Masters In CIS, will be getting a second one and going on
> to a
> > PHD.
> >
> > > 7.  Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Hopefully teaching at
> Northern
> > > Virginia Community College or one of the other umpteen higher
> educational
> > > Institutes we have here, and beginning my PhD, putting my kid thru
> > > college. Having a SO would a plus.
> > >
> >              I would change this to 5 years - 10 years is a very long
> time.
> > My answer is based on 5 time period.
> >
> > > 8.  What state do you live in?  Virginia
> > >
> > > Would you be willing to relocate if we decided to become a couple?
Why
> do
> > > they have to be the one to move? The partner with the least invested
> > > should be willing to move. ie - I was willing to move for Bob however
,
> I
> > > have a great deal invested in this area,  my employment, place of
> > > education, continutity for child, own a home and have aging parents,
> that
> > > make moving out at lewast in the immediate future.
> > >
> > > 9.  Do you plan to get married? NO!!!
> > >
> >            Rephrase this - can you see marraige in the your future.  No
> one
> > should be looking to get married, they should be willing to consider the
> > possibility with the right person - Marraige is not like a car or a
> house.
> > We would have much lower divorce rate if people where more realistic
> about
> > marriage instead being something you do as an adult like buying a car.
> >
> >                 Yes, I will marry solely for love.
> >
> > > 10.  Do you want to have a child or additional children?  No
> >                Would you accept someone else's existing children?  Yes
> >
> > > 11.  Do you like animals? not really   UGH  Mike !!!  Unless you are
> > > allergic to them ot loath them - this is not incredibly important. And
> > > frankly I would want to know if they had a pet BOA......!!!
> >                Do you have pets? if so what kind?   Yes, 3 cats
> >
> >
> > > 12.  What's the thing you like most about yourself?  I like the fact I
> am
> > > 4'10", I adore my blonde hair and blue eyes, and I enjoy being a dolly
> for
> > > myself to dress up.
> > >
> >               Ummmmm  ... How about what do feel are the positive
aspects
> of
> > you personality and thought processes. I really love and care for
others,
> I
> > am unjudgemental, highly logical and walk on the sunny side of the
street
> (
> > ie find positive regardless).
> >
> >
> > > 13.  What's the thing you like least about yourself? The extra 35
> pounds!!
> > >
> >               Hmmmm.... how about - what areas do you feel you could
> improve
> > or are working to improve yourself in. Self imagine/self esteem.Not
> holding
> > my self to standards of prefection, and then giving myself grief when I
> > stumble. Treating myself with the same love and understanding that I
have
> > for others.
> >
> > > 14.  What's your "disability"/"challenge"?  I was a premie, and have
> > > internal organ deformities, fragile lungs, and rebuilt feet. Minor
> brain
> > > damage due to stroke - affects speech in that I am not always able to
> say
> > > the word I mean or produce sentences of purely unrelated gobbled gook.
> > > Severe skeletal/neurological/internal organ damage sustained during
> abuse.
> > > I have PTSD from years of physical/sexual/emotional abuse. Recurring,
> > > uterine cancer. Pericardal spasms. Migraines.
> > >
> > > 15.  When did your last romantic relationship end? a year ago
> > >
> > > Are you still in touch with that person? unfortunately yes
> > >
> > > What feelings do you have for that person now? I love them very much
> but
> > > understand we are not compatible do to maturity issues.
> > >
> >            Mike - it is a very important clue how people answer this. Do
> not
> > write anything negative - this would be the first warning sign for me to
> > avoid someone. Any relation and break-up requires two people - and they
> were
> > your choice in the first place and maybe bad judgement on your part - ie
> not
> > listening to them and discarding them early on - created the situation.
> This
> > attitude also means they haven't gotten past it. You make the choice as
> how
> > you fel about something, and once its over - its needs to be over -
> before
> > you start again. I also would avoid anyone could not forgive and get
past
> > stuff - We all screw up and sometimes badly - then non acceptance of
> > someones mistakes means they will also be this judgemental with me - and
> > others. It is also a sign they haven't moved past the incident yet. You
> > don't need anyone hung up on the past. The here and now is what is
> > important, and you can't be here and now and spouting venom for the
past.
> > and having no feelings for someone - means no feels not negative ones. I
> > forget Amber father even exists.
> >
> >
> > > 16.  What medications, if any, do you take? Narcotics for pain, Soma
> for
> > > muscles spasms, Anaprox for PMS, Tavist D for allergies, lots of
> > > antiobiotics for frequent infections, chemo seriously weaked immune
> > > system. Valium for dental visits. Something for my migranes - all
> except -
> > > Tavist D are on an as needed basis,
> > >
> > >
> > > 17.  Ever been arrested?  Nope
> > >
> > > 18.  Ever been in a mental hospital?  no, but its sounds great - I
have
> > > always wanted to lose my mind and be a happy blithering idiot someone
> else
> > > had to care for.
> > >
> > > 19.  Do you smoke cigarettes?  Social smoker !!
> > > drink alcohol? Social drinker only
> > > use marijuana or take other recreational drugs?  nope - take enough
> > > regular ones!!!
> > >
> > >
> > > 20.  Do you believe sex before marriage is okay?  I think a more
> general
> > > question  as to someones attitude towards sex is more important.
Almost
> > > everyone has some sexual perferences or hang-ups. Sex and Marriage
> > > actaully have nothing to do with each other. Sex is a hormonal driven
> urge
> > > to reproduce. Marraige is a commitment to a relationship with someone
> > > else. Something one does 1% of the time should not be the reason one
> gets
> > > married or the reason one gets unmarried. One's ridgitiy thought and
an
> > > inability to compromise - items which go beyond sex, but frequently
> come
> > > out with sex first, are stumbling blocks. Also, women are more rigid
> about
> > > stuff being dirty, than guys. Both sides need to be able to
compromise.
> > > What I see to often with marraiges is the partner has become the
> opponant
> > > becasue of a different view rather than a partner with which ones
finds
> a
> > > middle ground. I have a had several guys whose most important question
> to
> > > answer was - Do I do Blowjobs or anal - As far as I am concerned -
that
> is
> > > illevant at the first contact/ dating stage. I certainly never ask
> period.
> > > They may never get a second date - so why was it important?  Also
> remember
> > > social moreys on sex change with age, and belief systems. It is much
> more
> > > important to know how the person feels about sex and their birth
> control
> > > issues than actually taking them for a test drive. There is a world of
> > > difference between sex as a recreational sport, and that of sex as an
> > > intimate loving act. It was discovered it takes years before people
> > > cactually become truely intimate and it requires mores than sex.
> > >
> > > 21.  Are you dating anyone now?  yes three guys
> > >
> > > 22.  Describe your ideal mate (person). Describes
> > > qualities/characteristics or personality traits you would like in
mate.
> >                Honesty, cleaniness, reliability, intelligence, lack of
> being
> > judgemental, good self-esteem, gentleness, ability to control temper,
> love
> > of reading and traveling ablility to interface with children and pets.
> >
> > > 23.  Describe your ideal date (place or activity). What ones does is
> > > irrelvant - it who one does it with that matters. Ask about a list of
> > > actitivites/places they like - mountains. beach, forest, traveling,
> > > photography, handicrafts, SETI, Sci-fi.
> > >
> > > 24.  Do you feel most loved by getting a gift, hearing the words "I
> love
> > > you"
> > > or another person spending time with you? Rephrase to what is greatest
> > > gift someone can give you. To me it is when someone takes time mention
> my
> > > positive aspects or compliments me - It means they have actaully paid
> > > attention and noticed me. The terms I love and someone spending time
> with
> > > can still be all about them and their needs - not yours. Today in the
> age
> > > of me ism most people primary concern is themselves another reason
> > > relatationships don't work. Its not about getting what you want or
even
> > > what you think you want. I am fairly sure even the happiliest married
> > > folks will tell you its a lot of hard work, patient and giving to the
> > > other - not unlike taking care of child. Life is not as they say - All
> > > about me" and the most unhappy people seem to be the ones who think it
> is.
> > >
> > >
>