Hi All,

    Yes, I agree on the boundaries. I began boundaries with Amber at a very
young age. I never had to kid proff the house. By the time she walked - she
had a handle on who had owner ship of what and she was only allowed to touch
and play with Amber things. I had only  to identify an objects owner and the
little hand would draw back. Now, intense curiousty of an object - was a
momy will hold it and you may touch gently - worked.  I also gave her
freedom - like Deri's mom did - I would put out in the fenced in yard and
keep a sharp eye on her but let her try her wings - I would look the other
direction when she did the areial stuff n her swing set. Yup, listened for
the thud. Heard a few. Never serious - she didn't even cry. I believe if you
begin things early enough and they become routine to the child - its saves
wear and tear on the nerves later. I can basically arch my brow and Amber -
mumbles and toes the line. Also I always found making her laugh worked - she
said no - and I made a very incrdeulous face and said  NO, no  -- now just
what part-of no do I not understand - is it the part where you are refusing
to do what I ask?  or I make horrible funny faces till she does what I
want - use that to rearrange her attitudes too.  Amber likes being my kid -
says so often. Sooooooooo glad she doesn't have a mean Mom like........


                                    Brightest Blessings
                                         Trisha


> Wee said.  Boundaries have to be set in order for our children to become
> responsible adults.  Unfortunately it is not done enough with children in
> our society.
> Samantha
>
>
> > I've been hestiant to express my opinion on parenting - and I'm
> > definitely opinionated.  Parents should set boundries, all sorts of
> > boundries.  My sons were not allowed to play in the street.  They
> > knew exactly how far down the sidewalk they could ride their trikes.
> > Friends thought I was far too strict.  Later the boys knew how far
> > they could go on their bikes.  Within their boundries, children need
> > lots of "carefully supervised neglect".  Dori's description of her
> > mum watching her climb the fence is a perfect example of what I mean
> > by "carefully supervised neglect".
> >
> > Parents also need to teach children to made decisions, starting with
> > simple choices between two equal options.  "Do you want orange juice
> > or grape juice?" not "what do you want to drink?".
> >
> > You start very young with a very short lease and slowly lengthen it.
> > If you have taught your children to set their own boundries and made
> > sound decisions, they will not even realize when you let go.  Both my
> > sons went straight from high school into the Marines.  I knew they
> > would be fine.  Some of the same friends who thought I was too strict
> > when our kids were young worried every time their teenagers left the
> > house.  Some of them had reason to worry.
> >
> > Deri James wrote:
> >
> > > When do you remove that safety net?
> > >
> > > I remember my Mum saying that when I was  8 or 9 she'd see me in
> > > the back garden trying to climb the garden fence after my sister
> > > and all her friends into the orchard next door, and knowing that
> > > even if I got to the top my technique for getting down was just
> > > to let go. Rather than rush out and lift me over she go away from
> > > the window and start dusting, one ear straining for the sound
> > > that signalled I had managed to hit the clump of nettles that
> > > always acted like a magnet.
> > >
> > > I really admired her for that.
> > >
> > > --
> > > Deri James