I was married to a disabled man for 9 years before filing for divorce (as
well as being disabled myself). I believe that some disabled people are
raised to lead "normal" lives and others are raised to be disabled and not
take responsibilities for anything and use their disability as an excuse.
Such is the case with my ex. I was cut no slack for having cp growing up.
That was our basic difference. There's more to look at than just disability
status. Renee


>From: Jan Nottmeier <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: "St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List"
><[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: on the subject of dating
>Date: Mon, 21 Aug 2000 17:48:17 -0400
>
>Laura and others, I fear I have gotten misunderstood here.  The reason
>why I tend to favor someone with a disability is this:  I figure that a
>mate with a disability can be more understanding or helpful.  By this I
>mean if a young abled bodied lady were to start a relationship with me
>she would have start at ground zero.  Where as a person in a wheelchair
>for instance knows at least to some extent what to expect.
>
>You are right that even a breakup between disabled people can lead and
>most likely will lead to a heartbreak.  I do not doubt that.  As for
>what I'm looking for in a relationship:  Someone who I can help and
>share the triumphs with and someone who can help get through the bad
>times with.
>
>I don't expect to meet someone tomorrow and get married next week.
>Someone I can get to know as a friend and then who knows.  I am not
>trying to send a double standard I could careless if the person was
>"abled" or "disabled" but as I stated on top I think a disabled women as
>in my case would possibly have a better understanding of the
>situations.  But if I were to get an opportunity to date a "abled
>bodied" woman I would certainly NOT turn her down.
>
>I just feel I need some experience in dating.  I'm tired of this
>sheltered life.  If I fall on my nose well I'll get up with new insight
>the next time.
>
>I hope I have not added more fuel to fire,
>
>Jan

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