i have read this many times, but, it is funny every time.
-----Original Message-----
From: Michael Jeffries
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: 9/2/2002 11:29 AM
Subject: Re: Internet chain letters and hoaxes
Big companies don't do business via chain letters. Bill Gates is not
giving
you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation.
There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks.
Proctor and Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its logo
is
not satanic.
MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the
most
people.
The Gap is not giving away free clothes. You can relax; there is no need
to
pass it on "just in case it's true."
Furthermore, just because someone said in a message, four generations
back,
that "we checked it out and it's legit," does not actually make it true.
There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a
bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to
their
cousin.
If you are bent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, see:
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm And I quote:
"The
National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual
victims
of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories." None have.
That's
"none" as in "zero." Not even your friend's cousin.
Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they
do,
we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at:
http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then, if you make the recipe,
decide
the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.
If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to
particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this
information
would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?
There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever
forward
any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm that an
actual site of an actual company that actually deals with viruses:
http://www.norton.com And even then, don't forward it. We don't care.
And you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to
download....ya know, like, a FILE!
There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes
headlights at another car driving at night without lights. If you're
using
Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off the "HTML encoding."
Those
of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save the
attachment and then view it with a web browser since you're probably
forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.
If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a
friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers
showing
everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. It sure
wouldn't
hurt to get rid of all the '>'s that begin each line either. Besides,
if it
has gone around that many times we've probably already seen it.
Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not dying
of
cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop
sending
him their business cards.
He apparently is no longer a "little boy" either.
The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine work, but
they
have had to establish a special toll-free hot line in response to the
large
number of Internet hoaxes using their good name and reputation. It is
distracting them from the important work they do.
If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that
"promises" something bad will happen if you "don't,"-- then something
bad
will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley.
Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, but forwarding an e-mail
won't
help their cause in the least. If you want to help, contact your local
legislative representative, or get in touch with Amnesty International
or the
Red Cross.
As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing
to
anyone with any power to do anything about whatever the competition is
complaining about.
PS: There is no bill pending before Congress that will allow long
distance
companies to charge you for using the Internet. Bottom Line...Composing
e-mail or posting something on the Net is as easy as writing on the
walls of
a public restroom. Don't automatically believe it until it's proven
false...
ASSUME it's false, unless there is proof that it's true.
Now forward this to everyone you know or the program I just put on your
hard
drive while you read this E-mail will open up your CD-ROM and reach out
and
slap you upside the head!
"Long ago and far away, We had a voice, you know that we had a say, We
won't
live for yesterday, Ready or not, we're gonna have our way"
Twisted Sister Wake Up (the sleeping giant)
http://www.deesnider.com/twisted/albums/lyrics/zwake.html
Michael Jeffries
AIM and Yahoo! ID MJeff25916
ICQ# 53522767
|
