Disclaimer: This is a potentially inflammatory post.  My intention however,
is not to inflame.  My intention is to share my truest feelings with the
invitation of hearing yours.  I recognize and acknowledge the nondisabled
people I have come to trust over the past few years, and the things I am
about to say do not apply to them.  There are a number of wonderful
nondisabled people on this very list, and the last thing I would want to do
would be to insult them.  Therefore, I say for the record (in the words of
the mighty Claire Huxtable) that the charges I levy in this post are not
levied to every nondisabled person.
______________________________
In a message dated 07/08/2000 11:03:17 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

> How very true.. If I were ask to do it over again and has a choice of CP or
>  not and retaining the knowledge I bow have, I don't know. Everyone seems to
>  be their own worst enemy.
>
>  Bobby

I agree Bobby.  I'm wanting to include "caveat emptor" as an unfortunate, but
necessary guiding principle when dealing with other people though.
Ultimately, we are each accountable for our individual responses to close
encounters with the TAB kind.  That does mean that we exercise the option to
be our own best friends, or worst enemies.  My feeling though -- and I hope
this doesn't sound overly paranoid -- is that the prudent person with a
disability keeps a more observant eye on new relationships and encounters
than the nondisabled person.

Analysis of my personal encounters with others indicate to my satisfaction
that we are being called upon to work with an unlevel playing field, while
trying to right that wrong, all the while making it look as though we are
perfectly content.

I would not trade my position with anyone else, because in order to
accomplish all of that, I have to rise above the limited understanding of
those who would keep me down in the most subtle ways, invisible even to them.
 I have to look to the future, and to the hope of increasingly positive
change.

One of the most recent reinforcements came yesterday when I spoke with the
Probate Clerk of Alexandria Virginia.  Being the executor of my Mom's estate,
I have to meet with him and go through the documentation exercise while
executing the terms of my Mom's will.  He expressed concern with my
disability, and whether I would be able to carry out those duties.  I replied
that my competency wasn't in question, but that accommodation was.

In the nondisabled world, there are still quarters that mistakenly assume
that the onus is on the disability community to "conform" to nondisabled
standards for delivering goods and services.  The nondisabled person has to
be aware of the laws that were drafted to protect them, and how to make best
use of the existence of those laws.  In this case, if I hadn't been on my
toes, I would have let Mr. Probate Clerk get over on me with his ablest
confusion.

I don't see him as the enemy, I see his misconception as the enemy.












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