Dear List,

         I have not contributed much to this thread, but I just recalled a
 fascinating anecdote that I feel adds something, here. Years ago, when I
 was conducting interviews for my dissertation, I interviewed a couple who
 both were CP. They had two non-disabled children, one an infant and a child
 about
 4 or 5. The couple both had what I thought to be more obvious gait
 patterns than I had. The woman was in a another room dressing the infant
 and I was sitting in the living room with the older child. I had not met
 the child before, so, to her, I was a stranger. Every time I walked across
 the room the child stared at me. Finally, I asked her if she wanted to
 asked me something. She said, "Yeah, why do you walk so funny?" Now, I have
 had similar comments from other children, but I assumed a child with CP
 parents would have abstracted the similarity between myself and her
 parents. I believe, now, that children grrowing up around adults who are
 "different" in some way are not aware of that difference. What reinforced
 this for me was when some years back my wife informed me about mentioning
 my speech defect to our child, whereupon, they indignitly inquired, "What
 speech defect?" To them, I was their dad and they perceived nothing
 "different" about my speech!!!
         All of this makes it clear that young children growing up around
 significant adults who have "different" traits, do not perceive those
 traits as
 "different". An interesting question is: when do children become aware of such
 differences??

 Bobby




>When kids are young, usually under 8, and they are staring at my kids, I try
>to draw them into a conversation about the power chair and show how "cool" it
>is that Alex and Briana can drive it themselves just like the powerwheel cars
>that kids use.  However, when kids look old enough to understand and just
>stare, I have instructed Briana to ask them "Do you have a problem or What
>are you looking at?"
>
>It may not be very nice, but I am very tired of people staring at my kids.
>She did it once to a kid in ShopRite and he sort of stuttered "ah, ah,
>nothing," he was old enough to know better, and hopefully, he won't do it
>again.  I will not have people staring at my kids like their freaks!
>
>The other thing I am extremely tired of is adults looking at them in pity and
>patting them on the head.  Their not dogs for heaven's sake.  Or, oh, God
>Bless you (he already has, they just don't know it), I don't know how you do
>it.  It may be a well intended statement, but quite honestly, I'm tired of it.
>
>Elaine