Now that I have expressed the deep dark concerns for
the world I'd better lighten the mood. 

  
 
  
 
 
 Bad Leg 
 
 
 A man goes into the doctor. 
 
 He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's
 wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear
it!" 

 The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's
 thigh, only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks. I really need
20 bucks." 

 "I've never seen or heard anything like this before.
 How long has this been going on?" The doctor asked. 

 "That's nothing Doc. Put your ear to my knee." 
 
 The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard
 it say, "Man, I really need 10 dollars. Just lend me
10 bucks!!" 

 "Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've
 never seen anything like this." The doctor was
dumbfounded. 

 "Wait Doc, that's not all. There's more, just put
 your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him. 

 The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to
hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars.
Lend me 5 bucks, please, if you will." 

"I have no idea what to tell you. There's nothing
 about it in my books," he said, as he frantically
searched all his medical reference books. 

"I can make a well educated guess though," he
continued. "Based on life and all my previous
experience, I can tell you that yourleg seems to be
broke in three places."  

 
 Free drinks for everyone 
 
 
 One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and
 says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me
including you, bartender." So the bartender follows
the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50
please." The drunk says he has no money so the
bartender slaps him around and throws him out. 

The next night the same drunk comes in again and
orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the
bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions
and again the drunk says he has no money. So the
bartender slaps him around and throws him out. 

On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders
drinks for all except the bartender. "What, no drink
for me?" replies the bartender. "Oh, no. You get
violent when you drink." 
 
  
Well Done 
 
John was furious when his steak arrived too rare. 
 
"Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say 'well
done'?" 
 
"I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter.
"I hardly ever get a compliment." 




       
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