Opps!  Guess I didn’t make myself  very clear on the parenting issue and
setting boundries.  I was trying to be brief.  Of course your goal is to teach
your child to make their own decisions and face the logical consequences!  You
start with very small decisions for very small children and you respect their
decisions.  At the same time you set boundries.  Too many parents fail to set
boundaries (limits) for a child until the child has gone too far, IMHO.

As a mother with CP it was especially important for me to know where my kids
were and what they were up to.

When my sons were 2 and 3 we lived on a quiet street.  Most neighborhood
children were allowed to ride their tricycles in the street.  They also ran
into the street without looking.  My boys had to stay on the sidewalk with
their trikes.  We taught them never to step into the street without looking
both ways first.  At 2 and 3 I kept a very close eye of them.  When they were 9
and 10 we lived on the edge of a small town.  They knew how to obey traffic
rules.  They were allowed to ride their bikes within their boundries any time
they wanted.  West to the railroad, north to Main street and east to the hiway
gave them a good sized territory.  They had to ask permission if they wanted to
ride farther.  A mile south of us was that boyhood paradise, a frog pond.  We
did a lot of hiking as a family and the boys knew how to swim.  There were only
two rules regarding the frog pond.  Let mom or dad know you were going there
and never go alone.  Take your brother or a friend with you.

Just my 3 cents worth.

Toddy
mom mhc wrote:

> With parenting, its important to ask yourself what the goal is. Are you
> raising your child yo be an adult, to make their own decisions and face the
> logical consequences, to delay gratification and be responsible to
> him/herself and others? Or are you raising them to be totally dependent on
> your way of viewing the world and doing things, and unable to think for
> themselves? I believe the latter is the true definition of "spoiling".
>
> I will also say that I made an early mistake with my daughter, because I
> didn't want people to believe I had children to care for me, so I delayed
> somewhat giving her age-appropriate responsibilities, like picking up toys,
> etc. Fortunately, she's still 6, so there's time to correct this.
>
> >From: Toddy <[log in to unmask]>
> >Subject: Re: Parenting and CP
> >Date: Sun, 27 Feb 2000 22:41:00 -0700
> >
> >I’ve been hestiant to express my opinion on parenting - and I’m
> >definitely opinionated.  Parents should set boundries, all sorts of
> >boundries.  My sons were not allowed to play in the street.  They
> >knew exactly how far down the sidewalk they could ride their trikes.
> >Friends thought I was far too strict.  Later the boys knew how far
> >they could go on their bikes.  Within their boundries, children need
> >lots of “carefully supervised neglect”.  Dori’s description of her
> >mum watching her climb the fence is a perfect example of what I mean
> >by “carefully supervised neglect”.
> >
> >You start very young with a very short lease and slowly lengthen it.
> >If you have taught your children to set their own boundries and made
> >sound decisions, they will not even realize when you let go.  Both my
> >sons went straight from high school into the Marines.  I knew they
> >would be fine.  Some of the same friends who thought I was too strict
> >when our kids were young worried every time their teenagers left the
> >house.  Some of them had reason to worry.
> >