Hi Mike,

       Cool, did you think of this? I altered some of the questions to bring
out the more inportant points. I am not looking for anyone to date at the
moment - I am dating 3 guys now - all of whom think I walk on water - which
of course I do - in the form of ice!! LOL But I answered anyway!! Several of
the questions required a bit of bathtub mulling time.


> 1.  When is your birthday?  6/22/53  (46 for at least another month)
>
> 2.  Have you ever been married, and if so how many times ( not an
> unreasonable now - with the third divorce rate up to 16%)?  Yes, 3 times
>
> 3.  Do have a child/ren, anything special about them?  Yes, one living
> daughter with Cerebral Palsy, and one Angel.
>
> 4.  Do you have a recent (within a year) photo of yourself you can attach
> to
> e-mail or on a web page I can see? I would drop this to then end and then
> rephrase - I never reply to anyone who has to have my pricture - they are
> just too shallow. It is far better to get to know someone's personality
> than see them. Our preception or feelings  about people color our view of
> their looks. I would place no emphasis on looks - 30 seconds can turn Ms.
> America into Ms. Frankenstein.
>
>
> 5.  Do you practice any religion?  Paganism
> If so, where do you attend religious services? Mount Vernon Unitarian
> Church, and as a Pagan Preistess I hold circles at my house.
>
             More inportantly than what the label of the religion is and is
how spiritually motivated the person is - you need to find out if they are
tolerant to others beliefs. I date across faiths, I am dating a Unitarian, a
Jew and a Quaker - at the moment. The only set of beliefs I place outside of
consideration for any prolonged exporsure to - is the cult - Born Again
Christians. I adore going to Mass, and Unitarian services.

> 6.  Are you employed? Fulltime or part-time   Yes, both
>      What's your employment? Fulltime I am a Data Analyst, and part-time I
> am a fine jewelry associate in a marjor department store.
>
           Additional ask about education and degrees.
        What is your education level? Post Graduate
        What is any degrees do you hold? I have a BS in CIS
        What id an future educational plans do you have - I am 2 courses
from my first Masters In CIS, will be getting a second one and going on to a
PHD.

> 7.  Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Hopefully teaching at Northern
> Virginia Community College or one of the other umpteen higher educational
> Institutes we have here, and beginning my PhD, putting my kid thru
> college. Having a SO would a plus.
>
             I would change this to 5 years - 10 years is a very long time.
My answer is based on 5 time period.

> 8.  What state do you live in?  Virginia
>
> Would you be willing to relocate if we decided to become a couple?  Why do
> they have to be the one to move? The partner with the least invested
> should be willing to move. ie - I was willing to move for Bob however , I
> have a great deal invested in this area,  my employment, place of
> education, continutity for child, own a home and have aging parents, that
> make moving out at lewast in the immediate future.
>
> 9.  Do you plan to get married? NO!!!
>
           Rephrase this - can you see marraige in the your future.  No one
should be looking to get married, they should be willing to consider the
possibility with the right person - Marraige is not like a car or a house.
We would have much lower divorce rate if people where more realistic about
marriage instead being something you do as an adult like buying a car.

                Yes, I will marry solely for love.

> 10.  Do you want to have a child or additional children?  No
               Would you accept someone else's existing children?  Yes

> 11.  Do you like animals? not really   UGH  Mike !!!  Unless you are
> allergic to them ot loath them - this is not incredibly important. And
> frankly I would want to know if they had a pet BOA......!!!
               Do you have pets? if so what kind?   Yes, 3 cats


> 12.  What's the thing you like most about yourself?  I like the fact I am
> 4'10", I adore my blonde hair and blue eyes, and I enjoy being a dolly for
> myself to dress up.
>
              Ummmmm  ... How about what do feel are the positive aspects of
you personality and thought processes. I really love and care for others, I
am unjudgemental, highly logical and walk on the sunny side of the street (
ie find positive regardless).


> 13.  What's the thing you like least about yourself? The extra 35 pounds!!
>
              Hmmmm.... how about - what areas do you feel you could improve
or are working to improve yourself in. Self imagine/self esteem.Not holding
my self to standards of prefection, and then giving myself grief when I
stumble. Treating myself with the same love and understanding that I have
for others.

> 14.  What's your "disability"/"challenge"?  I was a premie, and have
> internal organ deformities, fragile lungs, and rebuilt feet. Minor brain
> damage due to stroke - affects speech in that I am not always able to say
> the word I mean or produce sentences of purely unrelated gobbled gook.
> Severe skeletal/neurological/internal organ damage sustained during abuse.
> I have PTSD from years of physical/sexual/emotional abuse. Recurring,
> uterine cancer. Pericardal spasms. Migraines.
>
> 15.  When did your last romantic relationship end? a year ago
>
> Are you still in touch with that person? unfortunately yes
>
> What feelings do you have for that person now? I love them very much but
> understand we are not compatible do to maturity issues.
>
           Mike - it is a very important clue how people answer this. Do not
write anything negative - this would be the first warning sign for me to
avoid someone. Any relation and break-up requires two people - and they were
your choice in the first place and maybe bad judgement on your part - ie not
listening to them and discarding them early on - created the situation. This
attitude also means they haven't gotten past it. You make the choice as how
you fel about something, and once its over - its needs to be over - before
you start again. I also would avoid anyone could not forgive and get past
stuff - We all screw up and sometimes badly - then non acceptance of
someones mistakes means they will also be this judgemental with me - and
others. It is also a sign they haven't moved past the incident yet. You
don't need anyone hung up on the past. The here and now is what is
important, and you can't be here and now and spouting venom for the past.
and having no feelings for someone - means no feels not negative ones. I
forget Amber father even exists.


> 16.  What medications, if any, do you take? Narcotics for pain, Soma for
> muscles spasms, Anaprox for PMS, Tavist D for allergies, lots of
> antiobiotics for frequent infections, chemo seriously weaked immune
> system. Valium for dental visits. Something for my migranes - all except -
> Tavist D are on an as needed basis,
>
>
> 17.  Ever been arrested?  Nope
>
> 18.  Ever been in a mental hospital?  no, but its sounds great - I have
> always wanted to lose my mind and be a happy blithering idiot someone else
> had to care for.
>
> 19.  Do you smoke cigarettes?  Social smoker !!
> drink alcohol? Social drinker only
> use marijuana or take other recreational drugs?  nope - take enough
> regular ones!!!
>
>
> 20.  Do you believe sex before marriage is okay?  I think a more general
> question  as to someones attitude towards sex is more important. Almost
> everyone has some sexual perferences or hang-ups. Sex and Marriage
> actaully have nothing to do with each other. Sex is a hormonal driven urge
> to reproduce. Marraige is a commitment to a relationship with someone
> else. Something one does 1% of the time should not be the reason one gets
> married or the reason one gets unmarried. One's ridgitiy thought and an
> inability to compromise - items which go beyond sex, but frequently come
> out with sex first, are stumbling blocks. Also, women are more rigid about
> stuff being dirty, than guys. Both sides need to be able to compromise.
> What I see to often with marraiges is the partner has become the opponant
> becasue of a different view rather than a partner with which ones finds a
> middle ground. I have a had several guys whose most important question to
> answer was - Do I do Blowjobs or anal - As far as I am concerned - that is
> illevant at the first contact/ dating stage. I certainly never ask period.
> They may never get a second date - so why was it important?  Also remember
> social moreys on sex change with age, and belief systems. It is much more
> important to know how the person feels about sex and their birth control
> issues than actually taking them for a test drive. There is a world of
> difference between sex as a recreational sport, and that of sex as an
> intimate loving act. It was discovered it takes years before people
> cactually become truely intimate and it requires mores than sex.
>
> 21.  Are you dating anyone now?  yes three guys
>
> 22.  Describe your ideal mate (person). Describes
> qualities/characteristics or personality traits you would like in mate.
               Honesty, cleaniness, reliability, intelligence, lack of being
judgemental, good self-esteem, gentleness, ability to control temper, love
of reading and traveling ablility to interface with children and pets.

> 23.  Describe your ideal date (place or activity). What ones does is
> irrelvant - it who one does it with that matters. Ask about a list of
> actitivites/places they like - mountains. beach, forest, traveling,
> photography, handicrafts, SETI, Sci-fi.
>
> 24.  Do you feel most loved by getting a gift, hearing the words "I love
> you"
> or another person spending time with you? Rephrase to what is greatest
> gift someone can give you. To me it is when someone takes time mention my
> positive aspects or compliments me - It means they have actaully paid
> attention and noticed me. The terms I love and someone spending time with
> can still be all about them and their needs - not yours. Today in the age
> of me ism most people primary concern is themselves another reason
> relatationships don't work. Its not about getting what you want or even
> what you think you want. I am fairly sure even the happiliest married
> folks will tell you its a lot of hard work, patient and giving to the
> other - not unlike taking care of child. Life is not as they say - All
> about me" and the most unhappy people seem to be the ones who think it is.
>
>