-----Original Message-----
From: Bethany Wilson [mailto:[log in to unmask]] 
Sent: Thursday, May 01, 2008 20:19
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?



BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! 
The chicken wanted CHANGE!


JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
other side of the road. And if they don't cooperate, cross back over the road
and start shooting.



HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken
to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure --
right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it
deserves to cross the road.  But then, this really isn't about me.......



DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after
the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before
adding 'NEW' problems.



OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his
mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken
a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the
rest of the chickens.



GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.



COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road...



ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we 
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now 
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the 
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.



NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it 
in his eyes and the way he walks.



PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.



MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. 
I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price 
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.



DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, 
the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.



GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody 
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.



BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be 
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of 
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its 
life long dream of crossing the road.



ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in 
peace.



BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross 
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your 
check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new 
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot.



ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move 
beneath the chicken?



BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your 
definition of chicken?



AL GORE: I invented the chicken!



COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?



DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?



AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.



And finally, in keeping with current politics:



RUSH LIMBAUGH: What we have here is a classic case of the chicken being held 
down by a Democrat policy that takes the chicken to the other side of the road 
without the chicken actually having to do the walking itself! The chicken soon 
becomes dependent upon being taken across the road and never thinks to do it 
for himself...



JEREMIAH WRIGHT: The Chicken can't cross the road in a country that is so 
dead-set against chickens trying to cross the road to get ahead.  That's RIGHT 
brothers and sisters!  The fox is in the henhouse and the chicken can't cross 
the road to come home to roost!  It's entirely the result of generations of 
anti-chicken policies in the U-S-A of K-F-C!!!

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