OK I apologize for my earlier response - I think the original quote was
taken out of context. My apologies to you, Linda, for jumping the gun.
Kat
P.S. Below is Linda's original response --
-----Original Message-----
From: Cerebral Palsy List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of
Linda Macaulay
Sent: Wednesday, April 23, 2008 11:24 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: what were your childhoods like?
Mary,
I can only echo what some others have said. It sounds to me like
you would benefit from counseling to work through your history of
abuse, issues with struggling with independence, and working through
how to explain your childhood/disabilities/parents to others.
As for how I grew up...My CP is fairly mild so I always tell people
"God screwed up just enough so I can do whatever I want and get a lot
of special privileges." (Don't mean to be disrespectful by my
comment...usually gets a laugh from most folks). And really, it is
true. I walk (albeit funny), talk fine (too much and too fine if you
ask my husband!), and have above average intelligence that "made up
for" my lack of physical agility or gracefulness. So, I can't
complain. I like who I am and would rather be smarter than most and
less-able-bodied rather than "average" in every way. But growing up,
my mom was very over protective of me and probably would have kept me
in a bubble if she could have. Dad was more one to push me to do
what I needed to do and to get out in the world. But they both
raised me to think and to be independent, with good morals and
compassion. I hear you when you say your parents made you believe it
is a scary world out there. My mom STILL does that...but luckily I
have experiences that allow me to make my own judgements and not to
live in fear of what "might" be. They taught me to capitalize on my
strengths and not dwell on weaknesses. Instead, be a creative
problem solver to "overcome" the weaknesses. They did a darn good
job with me, I think!
As for independence vs. over doing it...I think you need to realize
that independence doesn't mean needing to do everything
INDEPENDENTLY. Like Kat said it is about being nable to make
decisions about what you want and need to be happy and live your life
the way YOU want to. You may need assistants, a wheelchair, a
service dog or paratransit to do it, but that still is independence.
I've learned, as many others on the list have as well, that overdoing
it to prove we are "normal" really just hurts us more in the end.
Anyway, my two cents...for what it is worth.
Linda
(age 35, mild spastic cp)
On Apr 22, 2008, at 11:13 PM, Mary Powers wrote:
> Hello,
>
> I'm 39.?
>
> are my posts showing up with question marks?? b/c I am typing them
> normally and then seeing question marks after the end of some
> sentences.
>
> anyway, I think my vision problems were a key part of what was
> wrong.? basically I lived in fear b/c I could not visually process
> and mentally integrate information.? one problem I had was called
> 'visual neglect.'? anything past midline (when my head was
> straight) didn't register so objects to my RHS - they were there
> and I in some way "saw" them, but not well.? they did not register
> mentally as important.? so I fell and etc. a lot.
>
> it left me with the feeling that I could get harmed easily b/c I
> could not see.? my parents took me to Doctors who didn't listen.?
> in my case, it wasn't having the impairment per se, but rather,
> having *no accommodations* for it.
>
> I also had both physical and sexual abuse outside the family, where
> I was told directly that I seemed "weak" and easy to abuse so that
> caused a lot of trouble.
>
> but - now I am an adult and I have far better help and more
> resources.? I have some very supportive people in my life.
>
> my biggest problem is exhausting myself trying to be independent.?
> my second biggest problem is not understanding what independence
> is.? after that it's anxiety.
>
> what is independence?? and how can I know my limits and still be
> independent?? when is it "giving up" and when it is right to stick
> things out?
>
> that confuses me.
>
> take care,
>
> Mary Katherine
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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