Kyle,

        I'm a bit(maybe three bits) slow, today. The only Christmas Cracker
that comes to mind is one driving the Chevy Pick-Up with a wreath on the
grill and a gun rack in the rear window.

Bobby


>Fabulous!  Although I did inhale a bit of a croissant on that one.  BTW--A
>Christmas Cracker from when I hail apparently has a bit different meaning
>than in the merry UK.  Er...right, Ken & Bobby?  ;>)
>
>-Kyle  (Rhymes with "gal" in aforementioned territory and as pronounced by
>parental units)
>
>-Kyle
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Deri James [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
>Sent: Thursday, December 16, 1999 7:48 PM
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: A Christmas Cracker
>
>
>        "Kyle E. Cleveland" <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> I've lost track, but I'm going to start wearing basic tan from
>> now on.
>
>=================================================================
>HEALTH WARNING.........DANGER DANGER DANGER........HEALTH WARNING
>=================================================================
>
>The following joke is not guaranteed to be compatible with any
>                     liquid refreshment
>
>This joke is a guaranteed coffee snorkeller down to a depth of
>                        fifty metres
>
>Please sit well back in your seat and keep your arms inside the
>           chair throughout the duration of this joke
>
>      Persons prone to apoplexy read on at your own peril
>
>=================================================================
>HEALTH WARNING.........DANGER DANGER DANGER........HEALTH WARNING
>=================================================================
>
>Kyle, you have been warned!!!
>
>(I did think of hitting "send" at this point, but that would be
>too (deliciously) cruel!!)
>
>
>
>This is a story in a local (Australian) paper.
>
>
>Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local pub.
>
>Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
>intoxicated that he could barely walk.
>
>The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with
>the officer quietly observing.
>
>After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five
>vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into.
>
>He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other
>patrons left the bar and drove off.
>
>Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it
>was a fine dry night) flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted
>the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle
>forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained
>stationery for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.
>
>At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly
>down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all
>this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing
>lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a
>breathalyser test.
>
>To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of
>the man having consumed alcohol at all!
>
>Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany
>me to the police station, this breathalyser equipment must
>be broken."
>
>"I doubt it", said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy."
>
>
>
>
>Cheers
>
>--
>Deri James