Deri,

GREAT!!  I'll send your version to my liberal friends, and both versions to
my conservative friends!

On Jan 6, 2008 7:49 PM, Deri James <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> Not so funny!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
> hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer
> and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
> and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
> beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were
> the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
>
>
> 1. Liberals
> 2. Conservatives.
>
> Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
> agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet,
> so
> while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be
> invented,
> they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
>
> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
> while they were drinking beer. Their favourite hunting method was to burn
> the
> prairie and wait for woolly mamoths to stampede off the cliffs. This was
> the
> beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
>
> Other men realised that if you cared for the environment, looked after
> your
> animals, and planted fields, you did not have to chase over miles of
> prairie
> to kill dangerous animals for food, the food was right on your doorstep.
> This
> was the start of the Liberal Movement.
>
> Although the fierce hunters enjoyed their life, it was lonely, days away
> from
> their women, having to go further and further to find a bit of prairie
> they
> hadn't burned. But this was the way their forefathers lived - this was
> "the
> Conservative way".
>
> Meanwhile the liberal farmers soon discovered that if they all worked
> together
> and cooperated with each other, each specialising in things they were good
> at, they could provide more than enough food for the whole community.
> There
> was a surplus, they could start to do art, music, dance. If one of their
> community became sick or old, there was enough food for them to be looked
> after. They chose a donkey as a symbol to show that even the lowliest &
> dumbest creature was an important integral part of the community.
>
> A hunter who became injured or too old to hunt lost status, he either had
> to
> beg for food, or sacrifice himself as bait to a sabre tooth tiger so that
> the
> clan could kill the tiger. He would then be revered as a "hero".
>
> Of course, eventually all the prairie had been destroyed and the last
> woolly
> mammoth was killed, the proud hunters had to join the liberals. You would
> be
> wrong if you thought that was the end of the Conservatives, no, you can
> still
> see them, they're the ones who say "Why should I pay taxes to anyone
> else.", "Right to bear arms", "Survival of the fittest",
> "Clan/family/country
> comes first - fiddle sticks to the rest.", whilst benefitting from a world
> where only cooperation, altruism, and consideration is the only successful
> pattern for long term survival. Oh, and they still hanker after the woolly
> mammoth, but since they killed them all, the elephant is the closest
> thing.
>
> Cheers
>
> Deri
>
> -----------------------
>
> To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
>
> http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
>
>


-- 


Kendall

An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress
depends on the unreasonable man.

-George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950

-----------------------

To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:

http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy