Nearly a week wasted.  Back from the physical and mental exhaustion that I
drive myself into trying the figure out computers on my own.  Finally had to
call the manufacturer: what I knew I ought to have done in the first place.
We'll let go unexamined, for now, the impact on my health and finances.  I
can sense Deri tasting "long pig" re my installation of Windows 2000.

My fighting strength and self sufficiency moebiused into my weaknesses and
near defeat..

Possibly grasped the kernel, Laura, if not the direction and intention of
your meaning.  Racism and disabilism controvert their own illogic.  The
distinction between "hate" and "cluelessness" is forced and artificial.
Disabled people are loathed and hated, as all oppressed peoples, by whatever
means and attitudes practiced by those who despise and oppress them.  To see
"disability" as different is contradictory and counterintuitive.  People
make us invisible in an easy insular act of rejection--avoid what you don't
know, fear, and are not sure how to "handle."

Avoidance, which everyone practices by the instant, seems a good rule of
self preservation.  We know how well that works!  Then suddenly doesn't when
what we avoid comes back to blast us.

Since I now use a wheel chair I've noticed how many people don't see me
because I live and move peripherally below their normal visual focus.  They
don't as much need to divert eye contact or evade the social aspect of
quickly withdrawn recognition.  This lulls them into the false security that
I don't exist and therefore will yield to their assumption and conform
"properly" with their notions.

I move quite rapidly in several hundred pounds of metal framing, these days
more "powerful' while more frail and vulnerable.  The wheels obviate my
concerns with falling and compensate my love of motion, flow, and rapidity
which my legs no longer offer.

Usually I hold my ground, speed along my path with determination, will
reinforced by armor, and the delightful realization that the suckers are
about to get a clue.  Nothing quite like sudden impact.

S.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Laura Cleveland" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, May 20, 2000 2:50 PM
Subject: Re: Eugenics through fear. Corrections!


> Maybe I am way off base here, but there seems to be a big dose of hate
when
> it comes to racism--I think like some said, it is cluelessness when it
> comes to the public's awareness of disabled folk's needs.
> Laura
>
> ----------
> > From: Magenta Raine <[log in to unmask]>
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: Eugenics through fear. Corrections!
> > Date: Saturday, May 20, 2000 1:25 AM
> >
> > Very sad story, Vince, and undoubtedly in addition to handicapism was
> also
> > racism.
> >
> > mag
>