Thanks Ken!  I NEVER wanted to get out of bed and go teach....  to this day
I don't think my sister believes that I actually got up that early and
went... I was and still am such a nightowl...


>From: "Barber, Kenneth L." <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: "St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List"
><[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: start the day with some humor
>Date: Wed, 2 May 2001 06:30:58 -0400
>
>Early one morning, a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up,
>  shaking him gently. "Wake up, Honey. It's time to go to school."
>  "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school," he whinned.
>
>  "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school and maybe I'll
>  consider it," she taunted.
>
>  "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me," he
>  concluded.
>
>  "Oh! Those are not good reasons. Come on... get up. You have to go to
>school now."
>
>  "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?" he retorted.
>
>  "One, you are 52 years old, Honey. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL."
>
>  **
>
>  Bad Habit
>  Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last
>  instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop
>of
>  paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two
>nuns
>  decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits and paint in
>the
>  nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
>
>  "Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.
>
>  "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.
>
>  The two nuns look at each other and shrug. No harm can come from letting
>a
>  blind man into the room, they decide, so they open the door.
>
>  "Good day, sisters," says the man, "where do you want these blinds?"
>
>  **
>  Dog Days
>  A dog wanders far from his home in East Africa, and before long he sees a
>  leopard heading toward him with the obvious intention of having lunch.
>
>  "I'm in trouble now," the dog thinks. Then he notices some bones on the
>  ground close by and settles down to chew on the bones with his back to
>the
>  approaching cat.
>
>  Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that
>  was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"
>  Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, and slinks away
>  into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard to himself. "That was close.
>That
>  dog nearly had me."
>
>  A monkey who has been watching from a nearby tree figures he can put this
>  knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So,
>off
>  he goes after the leopard. When the monkey catches up with the leopard,
>he
>  tells how the dog outsmarted him, and the cat is furious.
>
>  "Here, monkey," says the leopard. "Hop on my back and see what's going to
>  happen to that conniving canine."
>
>  The dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks,
>  "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down
>with
>  his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when
>  they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey? I can
>  never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another
>  leopard, and he's still not back."
>
>
>have a good day, all of you.

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