You've got a deal Beth.  You take the allergy pills, and I'll wear the
mosquito repellent.

There is a thing that makes me sad about this conversation.  I've been
thinking a lot about it this week, so maybe I should vent a little here.

Here's the long and whiny part...

I started a nature program for children with disabilities a couple of years
ago.  The planning took a little while, but we finally incorporated in
January of 1999.  Our mission is to provide accessible nature education
opportunities for children who would not truly be included in similar
programs geared for nondisabled children -- the thrust was to make sure we
were making this an enjoyable program for children with severe disabilities.

Over the past couple of years, my own physical condition has gradually
deteriorated.  I ended up having to retire on disability, and I spend half my
time laying down.  Anytime I do something, I'm only good for an hour or two
at the very most.  I just seem to keep going down hill physically and there
is nothing I can do but work with it.  I don't have the money myself anymore
to dump into this program; that isn't a prudent funding source for any
program anyway.  We need outside funding sources that don't depend on the
pockets of one person.

Fund raising and advertising for something like this program takes tons of
effort and time.  Time I have, but the stamina is gone.  I really am
disheartened because this is such a good idea.  I am sure that this would be
a booming success if I had the physical stamina that I did just a few years
ago.  I just don't know where we are going to go with the program now.  It
won't die -- I won't let it.  But it's in a holding pattern now and I don't
know how to proceed from here.  I don't exactly feel like a failure, given
the circumstances, but I guess a little part of me does.

I just wanted to say something about this to somebody.  We will find a way to
run with this program.  That's my MO -- I'm not a quitter.  It's just that
it's a bit of a heartache this particular week.  Now I'm whining for sure.
The spring bird migration is here, and my kids are missing it.  The snakes
and turtles are mating and my kids are missing that.  There are goslings all
over the place at Huntley Meadows Park and my kids are missing them.  I want
to show all this to Amber, whom I know better than any other child, better
even than the children in my own family, and I can't even do that.  I am
still waiting for my doctor to do the paperwork for my power chair so I can
continue with these things.  We talked about this last fall.  We discussed
the specifications, he wrote the script, but there is more paperwork and he
is very bad about doing that stuff on time.  If I had the chair I could at
least take Amber around the park and show her all this stuff, and be a better
friend to Trisha by doing so.  But right now I can't even go myself because I
can't handle the trail in my manual chair anymore.  My arms are totally
trashed for stuff like that.

arrrrgh! Thanks for letting me vent, whoever read this far.  This is just a
lousy week and next week will be better.











In a message dated 05/05/2000 10:25:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

<<  couldn't give you that much advice and good birding but, if you hit the
 area at the right time (late fall, early spring) I can guarantee at least 30
 species of birds just in the drive through.  There are enough birds that I
 have to bring a field guide to figure most of them out.  Come on down and
 give me an excuse to use my allergy pills.

 Beth >>