I agree with Bobby that parents of special needs children should have the
support of their family and community. But, selfishly, I wish that I could
honestly say that my sister in Memphis did. When I had my twin girls early
and found out all their problems, I never wished it upon anyone! Lo and
behold, my sister (who I always fought with when we were young) had twin boys
4 years ago at 28 weeks. She lives in Memphis with an a%$#hole of a husband!
Her one son has a trache, vent dependent, tube fed, deaf, VATERS association
(I can't even remember everything else). She was an RN with UT Medical Group
but had to quit because all her time was spent running kids to doctors and
hospitals. Matthew ended up in the hospital for over 14 months before he
came home for the first time. I guess I could ramble on about this, but the
bottom line is she has no one in TN to help her. Her in-laws can't
understand why she is so uptight when (if ever) they visit. Her husband
can't handle the stress of the care Matthew needs, so he won't travel with
her here to Michigan. My husband and Uncle are driving down there to pick
her up and bring her to my home to stay for 2 weeks because her husband is a
JERK! When she was here last November for Thanksgiving (stayed with me
again; had an uncle go pick her up), her mother-in-law and sister-in-law
invited her over for dinner, but paid no attention to Matthew. Very little
to Christopher (his twin). They made me so mad. When an aunt told my sister
"she didn't know how she did it" with taking care of everything, Vicki's
response was "you just do it". Her MOTHER-IN-LAW'S response was "Well, there
have been many with multiples that found a way to deal with their children,
it really is no different". EXCEPT THAT THOSE THAT HAD MORE THAN TWINS HAD
THEM NORMAL AND RECEIVED FREEBIES FROM COMPANIES!!!! (I work for P&G who
supplied some with a lifetime supply of diapers). I CAN'T EVEN GET DIAPERS
FREE FROM WORK!!!
Sorry, this just got me started! If you only knew how my sister is having to
fight all these battles (insurance, nursing, HUSBAND). She got into selling
Mary Kay to give her something for herself, but can only do it when the boys
are taken care of (very little time for that). But her husband thinks
nothing of buying season tickets to Detroit Lions Football games and flying
here whenever he wants. I know she wants to get out of that situation, but
she can't afford things financially. And she has such difficult times trying
to get help from various places. I keep trying to tell her to move here and
she''ll get more help.
Gosh, I'm rambling . . . I am truly sorry! This situation just really gets
my goat! I just can't wait til they come to visit. Hectic, but enjoyable!
Nancy
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