Kendall,
    Thanks for the link to Bobby's story, I had it bookmarked on my old 
computer, but lost it when I switched to my new laptop.
Susan
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Kendall D. Corbett" <[log in to unmask]>
Newsgroups: bit.listserv.c-palsy
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2007 1:05 PM
Subject: Re: GO-D FOOD FOR THOUGHT PLEASE READ Are we to blame for our son's 
brain dysfunction? - Latest Questions


> Meir,
>
> I'm not much of a theologian, and definitely not a Torah scholar, but
> IMHO, G-d allows some of the challenges we face as a "test of our
> mettle."  I don't think he (for lack of a better inclusive pronoun)
> causes them, but when they happen, we are faced with choices about how
> to deal with them.  Some may do better than others, and I think he's
> pleased with those who do well.
>
> The "great souls" theory is a bit much for me, although there are
> lessons we and our families and those we meet can take from the
> obstacles presented by disability and other challenges.  I refuse to
> believe that my soul (or yours, for that matter) is any greater than
> my brother's or my sister's - and I use those filial terms in the
> broadest sense possible.
>
> As far as "special" children being given to "special" families, this
> is a stretch for me as well.  Working in the disabilities field for
> over twenty years, I've seen families that deal well with disability
> issues and families that don't deal well with it.  The hope that I
> have for children and families (and again, I mean this in the broadest
> sense possible) that are touched by disability is that they find a way
> to grow together to meet it to the best of their abilities.
>
> As far as the things Chana Weisberg suggests as helpful, I'm afraid I
> don't have the background in Hebrew to know what most of them are, but
> I think they all boil down to "doing good in the world."  I would add
> to those by encouraging parents of children with disabilities (and
> people with disabilities themselves) to allow your child, our
> yourself, to live as full a life as possible.  In closing, one of the
> best things I've ever read on dealing with disability was written by a
> well respected former member of this list, who is no longer with us.
>
> Bobby, we still miss your wise counsel.
>
> http://www.tell-us-your-story.com/_disc98b/00000005.htm
>
>
> On 7/22/07, Meir Weiss <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>> http://www.chabad.org/library/article.asp?AID=541123
>>
>>
>> Printed from Chabad.org
>>
>> Are we to blame for our son's brain dysfunction?
>>
>> Question:
>>
>>                My son was diagnosed with a form of brain dysfunction. 
>> Please let me know if his parents or grandparents did something to 
>> deserve this punishment. Should we blame ourselves for his illness? Also, 
>> how can we help him?
>>
>> Answer:
>>
>> I am sorry about your son's diagnosis. It can be a difficult time for 
>> parents to reach an acceptance of why things happened this way. Often, 
>> they will incorrectly blame themselves or fault themselves for a child's 
>> sickness.
>>
>> We do not know why G‑d runs His world as He does. We do not understand 
>> why there is suffering, sickness, poverty, hunger or the many seemingly 
>> unfair challenges and tribulations in our world.
>>
>> We are told that sometimes very great souls need to descend to this 
>> world. These souls are so lofty that the physical realm cannot contain 
>> them, so they come into a body that "shatters" from its impact. Your 
>> son's brain might be somewhat dysfunctional because of the great holy 
>> soul that is enclothed within it. Many parents of special needs children 
>> vouch for this, explaining how despite the child's many needs, these 
>> children have a certain purity to them, or a certain power to them, in 
>> helping others to accept them because of who they are, not what they can 
>> give to this world, or to their families. Such children teach us the 
>> power of real love--a love that is not based on any preconditions.
>>
>> As far as your question if you did anything to "deserve" this: Special 
>> children are most often given to very special families, who can see 
>> beyond their external dysfunction to the beauty of their soul. No, I do 
>> not think you should blame yourself for your son's sickness.
>>
>> As far as what you can do to help him--as with any area of our physical 
>> world, its source is in the spiritual worlds. You can obviously help this 
>> child by doing mitzvot in his merit. You can choose any mitzvah that you 
>> like--extra charity, extra prayers, helping someone in need, mezuzah, 
>> kashrut, etc.--and keep it in his merit. You will thus be strengthening 
>> him spiritually and hopefully physically too.
>>
>> While G‑d listens to all prayers, the supplications of a tzaddik, a 
>> righteous individual, are especially potent. I would advise you to write 
>> a note to be placed on the Rebbe's gravesite, asking him to pray on your 
>> child's behalf. Click here <http://www.chabad.org/article.asp?AID=36248> 
>> to find instructions on how to do so.
>>
>> Wishing you success and blessings,
>>
>> Chana Weisberg for Chabad.org
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>  <http://www.chabad.org/images/new/feedbackTL.gif> 
>> <http://www.chabad.org/images/new/feedbackTR.gif>
>>        Chana Weisberg is a noted educator and columnist and lectures 
>> worldwide on issues relating to women, faith, relationships and the 
>> Jewish soul.
>>
>> All names of persons and locations or other identifying features 
>> referenced in these questions have been omitted or changed to preserve 
>> the anonymity of the questioners.
>>
>>
>>
>> The content on this page is copyrighted by the author, publisher and/or 
>> Chabad.org, and is produced by Chabad.org. If you enjoyed this article, 
>> we encourage you to distribute it further, provided that you comply with 
>> the copyright policy <javascript:void(0);> .
>>
>>  <http://www.chabad.org/images/new/feedbackBL.gif> 
>> <http://www.chabad.org/images/new/feedbackBR.gif>
>>
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>> Chabad.org <http://www.chabad.org/default.asp>  · A Division of the 
>> Chabad-Lubavitch Media Center 
>> <http://www.chabad.org/generic.asp?AID=32812>
>> In everlasting memory of Chabad.org's founder, Rabbi Yosef Y. Kazen 
>> <http://www.chabad.org/generic.asp?AID=36222>
>>
>> (c) 2001-2007 Chabad-Lubavitch Media Center
>>
>>
>>
>> -----------------------
>>
>> To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
>>
>> http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
>>
>
>
> -- 
>
>
> Kendall
>
> An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)
>
> The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
> persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
> progress depends on the unreasonable man.
>
> -George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950
> 

-----------------------

To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:

http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy