In a message dated 11/09/2001 8:54:19 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

> Well, OK.  Many of us.  I stand corrected.
>
Way too many.  That is precisely the reason the cycle continues.  One of us
speaks the truth, which is not comfortable with many ABs (and makes Uncle
Tiny Tims nervous too, I've noticed).  That's okay though!  There are a dozen
other people with disabilities down the road he will suck up to, and who will
suck up right back.  "You poor little AB baby.  Did somebody bother you with
a disability rights message?  There, there.  Everything is just fine.  We
LIKE being patronized.  We ARE less, and you ARE more!  Now let me smile my
perpetual and gutless smile, and you keep patting me on the head, and let me
pretend that your friendship is true."

People can say anything they want to justify this heinous crap.  Yes, there
is learned helplessness, and I do understand how that works.  Yes, the world
is a lonely place when we speak truths that are uncomfortable.  One thing is
certain though: either the fire gets put out or it doesn't.  The bottom line
is no respecter of wimps (and neither am I).

I'd rather die trying, than to bail on other activists who have the guts to
stay and fight, and to bail on the people who have no voice.  Plus, I'd
rather have people hate me, if that's what it takes for the next person with
a disability to be regarded as an ACTUAL human being.

It's not about making friends and having happy camper time, it's about being
able to look in the mirror and know that you are your own friend first.
There isn't any comfortable fence riding ground here either.

It's a great way to live, and so far I've discovered that I can and do have
close AB friends.  The thing is that they are the kind of people who will
tell me what they think about me.  I can count on them for honest friendship,
not pathetic patronization.  I can count on them when the chips are down too.
 Being forthright about the problems may cause me to have to wade through a
lot of jerks, but the jerks also get weeded out quickly.

Whomever shows up at my funeral is going to have a good time telling funny
stories about me.  Some I wouldn't mind knowing about, and some I might not
want to be so public.  No one will say I was AB whipped though.  No kid with
a disability will ever say that I dumped this crap in their lap either.

Betty