On Wednesday 12 Jan 2005 23:41, Mike Hershenhouse wrote:
> Hi Michael, Thank you for the kind words. Right now, the only turmoil we
> are going thru is my sons immaturity. He is 14yr old and acts like he is 8.
> He is very intelligent but you would not know it unless you knew him. This
> is very disheartening to my husband and myself. our family can't understand
> why this is happening. I am hoping he will eventually catch up to his age
> maturity wise. Any thoughts?    Lori
>
Hi Lori,

Perception of intelligence is rarely visual (unless you're the spitting image
of Einstein - now he did look intelligent!!). Intelligence is usually only
apparent through communication - thank goodness - 'cos I usually look like a
complete dork!!

Looking back on my own life, speaking as one who has received such epithets as
"oldest teenager in town" (I'm 50) and "you're behaving like a 6 year
old" (that one usually from my wife!), you might suppose I enjoy a certain
deficiency in maturity - whereas I prefer to consider myself "young at
heart". (I did consider finishing the sentence with "nah nah ne nah nah" but
I refrained). ;-)

I particularly remember the mid teens as a difficult time, there was no way I
could compete in the "cool" stakes (the occasional dribble, and persistent
scruffiness are not highly regarded) so I tended to withdraw into
eccentricity, i.e. if you can't "win" - play a different game!! Also, with
regard to behaviour to my parents at that time, it was more a case of venting
frustration in a safe environment, but I'm sure it must have seemed immature
to them.

You say that your son "doesn't seem to absorb what we say to him", but I think
most teenagers are like that - attaching more veracity to what their peers
say (even when its utter and complete balderdash) than the pearls of wisdom
coming from their parents!! Don't worry too much, certainly, in my case, it
was a passing phase which I fully expect to grow out of in the next 30 years.
My cerebral palsy may have affected all limbs, speech and maturity, but it
has not stopped me having a wonderful life with a 29 year marriage, 3 kids,
and working as an Associate Director in one of the UKs largest banks.

Cheers

Deri