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Subject:
From:
Matt Conaway <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
Date:
Sat, 10 Nov 2001 17:39:11 -0500
Content-Type:
TEXT/PLAIN
Parts/Attachments:
TEXT/PLAIN (51 lines)
I couldn't have said it better myself! :-)

Matt

On Fri, 9 Nov 2001, Betty B wrote:

> In a message dated 11/09/2001 8:54:19 PM Eastern Standard Time,
> [log in to unmask] writes:
>
> > Well, OK.  Many of us.  I stand corrected.
> >
> Way too many.  That is precisely the reason the cycle continues.  One of us
> speaks the truth, which is not comfortable with many ABs (and makes Uncle
> Tiny Tims nervous too, I've noticed).  That's okay though!  There are a dozen
> other people with disabilities down the road he will suck up to, and who will
> suck up right back.  "You poor little AB baby.  Did somebody bother you with
> a disability rights message?  There, there.  Everything is just fine.  We
> LIKE being patronized.  We ARE less, and you ARE more!  Now let me smile my
> perpetual and gutless smile, and you keep patting me on the head, and let me
> pretend that your friendship is true."
>
> People can say anything they want to justify this heinous crap.  Yes, there
> is learned helplessness, and I do understand how that works.  Yes, the world
> is a lonely place when we speak truths that are uncomfortable.  One thing is
> certain though: either the fire gets put out or it doesn't.  The bottom line
> is no respecter of wimps (and neither am I).
>
> I'd rather die trying, than to bail on other activists who have the guts to
> stay and fight, and to bail on the people who have no voice.  Plus, I'd
> rather have people hate me, if that's what it takes for the next person with
> a disability to be regarded as an ACTUAL human being.
>
> It's not about making friends and having happy camper time, it's about being
> able to look in the mirror and know that you are your own friend first.
> There isn't any comfortable fence riding ground here either.
>
> It's a great way to live, and so far I've discovered that I can and do have
> close AB friends.  The thing is that they are the kind of people who will
> tell me what they think about me.  I can count on them for honest friendship,
> not pathetic patronization.  I can count on them when the chips are down too.
>  Being forthright about the problems may cause me to have to wade through a
> lot of jerks, but the jerks also get weeded out quickly.
>
> Whomever shows up at my funeral is going to have a good time telling funny
> stories about me.  Some I wouldn't mind knowing about, and some I might not
> want to be so public.  No one will say I was AB whipped though.  No kid with
> a disability will ever say that I dumped this crap in their lap either.
>
> Betty
>

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