My former boss (he just retired) was a social work professor as well
as being executive director of our UCEDD. Keith would be appalled to
hear a SW talk this way.
www.wind.uwyo.edu in case you're interested in checking out the website.
On 7/23/07, [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Thank you for the clarification, Kendall - having had no experience with
> IEP or Social Services, I didn't know what was involved.
>
> I still say the SW needs to go back to school to learn tact, if nothing
> else.
>
> Kat
>
> Original Message:
> -----------------
> From: Kendall D. Corbett [log in to unmask]
> Date: Mon, 23 Jul 2007 13:06:01 -0600
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: C-PALSY Digest - 20 Jul 2007 to 22 Jul 2007 (#2007-136)
>
>
> Kat,
>
> If It's an IEP issue, the parents have the ultimate say in who is
> included on the IEP team.
>
> If the evaluation was ordered by Heidi's son's doctor, and the
> insurance is asking the social worker's opinion, I'd suggest an appeal
> of having the SW included at this point, or at the very least having a
> different social worker sit in on it.
>
> Heidi never actually used the terminology for CP in this post, but it
> was something she was concerned about in her intro, and why she found
> the list. What Heidi said in this instance was:
>
> > She alluded last week that my sons delays may be due to my
> > "overcaring nature" and mothers sometimes are too concerned and hovering.
> > Made my blood boil but I said nothing.
>
> On 7/23/07, [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > OK, I'm scratching my head here because I don't recall anyone saying that
> > anyone is responsible for Heidi's son having CP or any other developmental
> > disabilities and if the social worker thinks so, then she ought to go back
> > to school.
> >
> > Now, if the SW thinks that Heidi's making too much of things that she sees
> > as normal, then the exam will prove her wrong if there is a developmental
> > disability. Note that I'm careful in not using the term CP as there are a
> > lot of developmental disabilities out there and CP is just one of them.
> >
> > Ih my opinion, the best thing to do is to relax and let the doctors do
> > their exam. Kendall, how can Heidi not have the SW there if she insists
> on
> > being present?
> >
> > Kat
> >
> > Original Message:
> > -----------------
> > From: Kendall D. Corbett [log in to unmask]
> > Date: Mon, 23 Jul 2007 11:14:27 -0600
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: C-PALSY Digest - 20 Jul 2007 to 22 Jul 2007 (#2007-136)
> >
> >
> > Heidi,
> >
> > I'd suggest that you have the exam without the social worker present
> > at this point. Let the PT and OT (and possibly a developmental
> > pediatrician/neurologist) rule out any physical/organic causes for
> > your sons delays first. Then, if those are ruled out, talk with the
> > social worker, or another counselor, as it sounds like it will be
> > difficukt to build a good working relationship with this social
> > worker. He/she may have the best intentions in the world for
> > mentioning possible psychological causes for his delays, but I'd think
> > ruling out other causes first is a good strategy.
> >
> > I'm not going to say whether G-d had anything to do with his delays,
> > as I don't know what your faith life is. I'm definitely not a
> > Calvinist, so I'm sure your son wasn't pre-ordained to have the delays
> > that he has. After I was born, and later after I had my stroke,
> > "friends" of my mother said that G-d was punishing her (or me) for
> > things that had happened in our past. That was definitely BS. I will
> > say that I learned things through my disabilities that have been
> > beneficial spiritually, whether that is in my faith, or just in how I
> > deal with those whose lives I touch, and whose lives touch mine.
> >
> > On 7/23/07, Tamar Raine <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > > Here's an idea. God is only an imaginary idea, like the tooth fairy, it
> > is people that run the world. sometimes shit happens, and it's nobody's
> > fault!
> > >
> > > Heidi, that's a load of bs that it's your fault. gopefully the exams
> > will prove that, so you can begin to get him some help.
> > >
> > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > Tamar Mag Raine
> > > [log in to unmask]
> > > http://www.zazzle.com/TamarMag*
> > > www.cafepress.com/tamarmag
> > > Lots of new art & designs ~ come and look!
> > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ----- Original Message ----
> > > From: heidi tibollo <[log in to unmask]>
> > > To: [log in to unmask]
> > > Sent: Sunday, July 22, 2007 9:59:02 PM
> > > Subject: Re: C-PALSY Digest - 20 Jul 2007 to 22 Jul 2007 (#2007-136)
> > >
> > >
> > > Hi all,
> > > We have an early intervention assessment this week with a PT and OT to
> > see if we qualify for help for our son with gross motor and possibly
> Speech
> > and gagging issues. My concern is that the social worker will be there
> > also. She alluded last week that my sons delays may be due to my
> > "overcaring nature" and mothers sometimes are too concerned and hovering.
> > Made my blood boil but I said nothing. Now I am concerned she may
> influence
> > the PT and OT. Do I say something at the onset of the evaluation? Say
> > something only if they say he doesn't meet the criteria? The social worker
> > thought I should be introducing more foods and found out I am an
> attachment
> > parent (co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding). My older son was very
> > allergic to all dairy and eggs so I haven't introduced them into my
> younger
> > son's diet yet and, hello,- he gaggs and doesn't seem to have any interest
> > in chewing. My husband feels that I am responsible for our sons delays
> "too
> > nurturing yet
> > > not engaging enough"-
> > > his (and his mother's) explaination as to why my son has been globally
> > delayed with motor and intellectual milestones. What do I say to this- do
> I
> > want to be right, that my son does have some issues and prove my husband
> > wrong. I would be thrilled if I was the reason for all the delays yet
> > somehow I am hurt that he blames me. (to be fair he says he's not blaming
> > me just pointing out what he thinks) Very frustrating.
> > > Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
> > > Thanks
> > > Heidi
> > >
> > >
> > > ----- Original Message ----
> > > From: C-PALSY automatic digest system <[log in to unmask]>
> > > To: [log in to unmask]
> > > Sent: Monday, July 23, 2007 12:00:49 AM
> > > Subject: C-PALSY Digest - 20 Jul 2007 to 22 Jul 2007 (#2007-136)
> > >
> > >
> > > There is 1 message totalling 110 lines in this issue.
> > >
> > > Topics of the day:
> > >
> > > 1. GO-D FOOD FOR THOUGHT PLEASE READ Are we to blame for our son's
> > brain
> > > dysfunction? - Latest Questions
> > >
> > > -----------------------
> > >
> > > To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
> > >
> > > http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
> > >
> > > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > > Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2007 12:16:49 -0400
> > > From: Meir Weiss <[log in to unmask]>
> > > Subject: GO-D FOOD FOR THOUGHT PLEASE READ Are we to blame for our
> > son's brain dysfunction? - Latest Questions
> > >
> > > http://www.chabad.org/library/article.asp?AID=3D541123
> > >
> > > =20
> > > Printed from Chabad.org=09
> > >
> > > Are we to blame for our son's brain dysfunction?
> > >
> > > Question:
> > >
> > > My son was diagnosed with a form of brain dysfunction. Please let
> > me =
> > > know if his parents or grandparents did something to deserve this =
> > > punishment. Should we blame ourselves for his illness? Also, how can we
> =
> > > help him?
> > >
> > > Answer:
> > >
> > > I am sorry about your son's diagnosis. It can be a difficult time for =
> > > parents to reach an acceptance of why things happened this way. Often, =
> > > they will incorrectly blame themselves or fault themselves for a
> child's =
> > > sickness.=20
> > >
> > > We do not know why G=E2=80=91d runs His world as He does. We do not =
> > > understand why there is suffering, sickness, poverty, hunger or the
> many =
> > > seemingly unfair challenges and tribulations in our world.=20
> > >
> > > We are told that sometimes very great souls need to descend to this =
> > > world. These souls are so lofty that the physical realm cannot contain =
> > > them, so they come into a body that "shatters" from its impact. Your =
> > > son's brain might be somewhat dysfunctional because of the great holy =
> > > soul that is enclothed within it. Many parents of special needs
> children =
> > > vouch for this, explaining how despite the child's many needs, these =
> > > children have a certain purity to them, or a certain power to them, in =
> > > helping others to accept them because of who they are, not what they
> can =
> > > give to this world, or to their families. Such children teach us the =
> > > power of real love--a love that is not based on any preconditions.
> > >
> > > As far as your question if you did anything to "deserve" this: Special =
> > > children are most often given to very special families, who can see =
> > > beyond their external dysfunction to the beauty of their soul. No, I do
> =
> > > not think you should blame yourself for your son's sickness.=20
> > >
> > > As far as what you can do to help him--as with any area of our physical
> =
> > > world, its source is in the spiritual worlds. You can obviously help =
> > > this child by doing mitzvot in his merit. You can choose any mitzvah =
> > > that you like--extra charity, extra prayers, helping someone in need, =
> > > mezuzah, kashrut, etc.--and keep it in his merit. You will thus be =
> > > strengthening him spiritually and hopefully physically too.=20
> > >
> > > While G=E2=80=91d listens to all prayers, the supplications of a =
> > > tzaddik, a righteous individual, are especially potent. I would advise =
> > > you to write a note to be placed on the Rebbe's gravesite, asking him
> to =
> > > pray on your child's behalf. Click here =
> > > <http://www.chabad.org/article.asp?AID=3D36248> to find instructions
> on =
> > > how to do so.
> > >
> > > Wishing you success and blessings,
> > >
> > > Chana Weisberg for Chabad.org
> > >
> > > =09
> > > =09
> > >
> > >
> > > <http://www.chabad.org/images/new/feedbackTL.gif> =
> > > <http://www.chabad.org/images/new/feedbackTR.gif> =09
> > > Chana Weisberg is a noted educator and columnist and lectures
> > worldwide =
> > > on issues relating to women, faith, relationships and the Jewish soul.
> > >
> > > All names of persons and locations or other identifying features =
> > > referenced in these questions have been omitted or changed to preserve =
> > > the anonymity of the questioners.
> > >
> > > =09
> > >
> > > The content on this page is copyrighted by the author, publisher and/or
> =
> > > Chabad.org, and is produced by Chabad.org. If you enjoyed this article,
> =
> > > we encourage you to distribute it further, provided that you comply
> with =
> > > the copyright policy <javascript:void(0);> .
> > > =09
> > > <http://www.chabad.org/images/new/feedbackBL.gif> =
> > > <http://www.chabad.org/images/new/feedbackBR.gif> =09
> > >
> > >
> > > ________________________________
> > >
> > > Chabad.org <http://www.chabad.org/default.asp> =C2=B7 A Division of
> the =
> > > Chabad-Lubavitch Media Center =
> > > <http://www.chabad.org/generic.asp?AID=3D32812>=20
> > > In everlasting memory of Chabad.org's founder, Rabbi Yosef Y. Kazen =
> > > <http://www.chabad.org/generic.asp?AID=3D36222> =20
> > >
> > > =C2=A9 2001-2007 Chabad-Lubavitch Media Center
> > >
> > > =09
> > >
> > > -----------------------
> > >
> > > To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
> > >
> > > http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=3Dc-palsy
> > >
> > > ------------------------------
> > >
> > > End of C-PALSY Digest - 20 Jul 2007 to 22 Jul 2007 (#2007-136)
> > > **************************************************************
> > >
> > > -----------------------
> > >
> > > To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
> > >
> > > http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
> > >
> > > -----------------------
> > >
> > > To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
> > >
> > > http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
> > >
> >
> >
> > --
> >
> >
> > Kendall
> >
> > An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)
> >
> > The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
> > persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
> > progress depends on the unreasonable man.
> >
> > -George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950
> >
> > -----------------------
> >
> > To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
> >
> > http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------
> > mail2web - Check your email from the web at
> > http://link.mail2web.com/mail2web
> >
> > -----------------------
> >
> > To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
> >
> > http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
> >
>
>
> --
>
>
> Kendall
>
> An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)
>
> The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
> persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
> progress depends on the unreasonable man.
>
> -George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950
>
> -----------------------
>
> To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
>
> http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
> mail2web - Check your email from the web at
> http://link.mail2web.com/mail2web
>
> -----------------------
>
> To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
>
> http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
>
--
Kendall
An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950
-----------------------
To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
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