i will say, to children, because i can't walk. to adults, i hav cerebral palsy.
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Tamar Mag Raine
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----- Original Message ----
From: Linda Macaulay <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: Saturday, May 10, 2008 11:54:56 AM
Subject: Re: what were your childhoods like?
No offense taken, Kat. I welcome people expressing their real
feelings. And my comment taken alone should provoke comments from
this group!! :)
Linda
On May 10, 2008, at 1:37 PM, ksalkin wrote:
> OK I apologize for my earlier response - I think the original quote
> was
> taken out of context. My apologies to you, Linda, for jumping the
> gun.
>
> Kat
>
> P.S. Below is Linda's original response --
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Cerebral Palsy List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> Behalf Of
> Linda Macaulay
> Sent: Wednesday, April 23, 2008 11:24 AM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: what were your childhoods like?
>
> Mary,
>
> I can only echo what some others have said. It sounds to me like
> you would benefit from counseling to work through your history of
> abuse, issues with struggling with independence, and working through
> how to explain your childhood/disabilities/parents to others.
>
> As for how I grew up...My CP is fairly mild so I always tell people
> "God screwed up just enough so I can do whatever I want and get a lot
> of special privileges." (Don't mean to be disrespectful by my
> comment...usually gets a laugh from most folks). And really, it is
> true. I walk (albeit funny), talk fine (too much and too fine if you
> ask my husband!), and have above average intelligence that "made up
> for" my lack of physical agility or gracefulness. So, I can't
> complain. I like who I am and would rather be smarter than most and
> less-able-bodied rather than "average" in every way. But growing up,
> my mom was very over protective of me and probably would have kept me
> in a bubble if she could have. Dad was more one to push me to do
> what I needed to do and to get out in the world. But they both
> raised me to think and to be independent, with good morals and
> compassion. I hear you when you say your parents made you believe it
> is a scary world out there. My mom STILL does that...but luckily I
> have experiences that allow me to make my own judgements and not to
> live in fear of what "might" be. They taught me to capitalize on my
> strengths and not dwell on weaknesses. Instead, be a creative
> problem solver to "overcome" the weaknesses. They did a darn good
> job with me, I think!
>
> As for independence vs. over doing it...I think you need to realize
> that independence doesn't mean needing to do everything
> INDEPENDENTLY. Like Kat said it is about being nable to make
> decisions about what you want and need to be happy and live your life
> the way YOU want to. You may need assistants, a wheelchair, a
> service dog or paratransit to do it, but that still is independence.
> I've learned, as many others on the list have as well, that overdoing
> it to prove we are "normal" really just hurts us more in the end.
>
> Anyway, my two cents...for what it is worth.
>
> Linda
>
> (age 35, mild spastic cp)
> On Apr 22, 2008, at 11:13 PM, Mary Powers wrote:
>
>> Hello,
>>
>> I'm 39.?
>>
>> are my posts showing up with question marks?? b/c I am typing them
>> normally and then seeing question marks after the end of some
>> sentences.
>>
>> anyway, I think my vision problems were a key part of what was
>> wrong.? basically I lived in fear b/c I could not visually process
>> and mentally integrate information.? one problem I had was called
>> 'visual neglect.'? anything past midline (when my head was
>> straight) didn't register so objects to my RHS - they were there
>> and I in some way "saw" them, but not well.? they did not register
>> mentally as important.? so I fell and etc. a lot.
>>
>> it left me with the feeling that I could get harmed easily b/c I
>> could not see.? my parents took me to Doctors who didn't listen.?
>> in my case, it wasn't having the impairment per se, but rather,
>> having *no accommodations* for it.
>>
>> I also had both physical and sexual abuse outside the family, where
>> I was told directly that I seemed "weak" and easy to abuse so that
>> caused a lot of trouble.
>>
>> but - now I am an adult and I have far better help and more
>> resources.? I have some very supportive people in my life.
>>
>> my biggest problem is exhausting myself trying to be independent.?
>> my second biggest problem is not understanding what independence
>> is.? after that it's anxiety.
>>
>> what is independence?? and how can I know my limits and still be
>> independent?? when is it "giving up" and when it is right to stick
>> things out?
>>
>> that confuses me.
>>
>> take care,
>>
>> Mary Katherine
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
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>>
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