good joke

-----Original Message-----
From: Deri James [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Thursday, December 16, 1999 7:48 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: A Christmas Cracker


        "Kyle E. Cleveland" <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> I've lost track, but I'm going to start wearing basic tan from
> now on.

=================================================================
HEALTH WARNING.........DANGER DANGER DANGER........HEALTH WARNING
=================================================================

The following joke is not guaranteed to be compatible with any
                     liquid refreshment

This joke is a guaranteed coffee snorkeller down to a depth of
                        fifty metres

Please sit well back in your seat and keep your arms inside the
           chair throughout the duration of this joke

      Persons prone to apoplexy read on at your own peril

=================================================================
HEALTH WARNING.........DANGER DANGER DANGER........HEALTH WARNING
=================================================================

Kyle, you have been warned!!!

(I did think of hitting "send" at this point, but that would be
too (deliciously) cruel!!)



This is a story in a local (Australian) paper.


Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local pub.

Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with
the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five
vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other
patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it
was a fine dry night) flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted
the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle
forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained
stationery for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.

At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly
down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all
this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing
lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a
breathalyser test.

To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of
the man having consumed alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany
me to the police station, this breathalyser equipment must
be broken."

"I doubt it", said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy."




Cheers

--
Deri James