---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 17 May 2000 11:18:23 PDT
From: Scott L <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Dumb Lawyer Questions

Dumb Lawyer Questions
> >
> >     A client of the Salt Lake City law firm of Johnson & Hatch collects
> >     silly questions asked by lawyers. The column-writing
> >     team of Paul Rolly and Joann Jacobsen-Wells reproduced some of them
>in
> >     the Salt Lake Tribune. The following are
> >     some of these questions, actually asked by lawyers during the course
> >     of trials:
> >
> >     "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
> >
> >     "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in
> >     most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't
> >     know anything about it until the next morning?"
> >
> >     Q: "What happened then?"
> >     A: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can
>identify
> >     me!'"
> >     Q: "Did he kill you?"
> >
> >     "The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he?"
> >
> >     "Were you alone or by yourself?"
> >
> >     "Was it you or your younger brother that was killed in the war?"
> >
> >     Q: "I show you exhibit 3 and ask if you recognize that picture."
> >     A: "That's me."
> >     Q: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
> >
> >     Q: "Do you know how pregnant you are now?"
> >     A: "I'll be three months November 8."
> >     Q: "So the date of conception was August 8?"
> >     A: "Yes."
> >     Q: "What were you doing at that time?"
> >
> >     Q: "Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?"
> >     A: "I used to be."
> >     Q: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
> >
> >     Q: "She had three children, right?"
> >     A: "Yes."
> >     Q: "How many were boys?"
> >     A: "None."
> >     Q: "Were there any girls?"
> >
> >     Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
> >     A: "Yes."
> >     Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
> >
> >     And once in a while there's a witness who just doesn't choose to be
>in
> >     a forgiving mood, and the result is something like
> >     this documented exchange:
> >
> >     Q: "Do you recall approximately the time you examined the body of
>Mr.
> >     Edington at the Rose Chapel?"
> >     A: "It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 P.M."
> >     Q: "And Mr. Edington was dead at that time, is that correct?"
> >     A: "No, you stupid bastard, he was sitting on the table wondering
>why
> >     I was doing an autopsy!"

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