In a message dated 04/17/2001 7:22:24 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

> Betty, golly, my mom's first husband had the gall to bring a man to her bed
>  one day, she found him. She ht the ceiling, of course, and left him. he was
>  bisexual.
>
What a world, eh?  You know, my Mom's first husband was similarly inclined,
and I am wondering how many gay men there are out there who are married?
Maybe less now that homosexuality is more openly discussed.  I didn't find
this out until I was a teenager, a little after my sister had passed on.  He
was her father, my dad was her step father, but she never knew that her
natural father was gay.  Mom didn't want her to find out. My Mom and Dad
married when my sister was fairly young, so he was really the Dad that she
knew.

After my own Dad died, Mom and her first husband started talking again.  They
really needed to talk, I think, and make peace with each other.  It seemed to
me that they needed to grieve the loss of their daughter together.  I got a
chance to know him too.  He really was a nice man, and I liked the idea of
having the chance to know him.

When he died, we went to his funeral, and his lovers (two) were there of
course.  They were the very same men who were in his life when he was married
to my Mom.  After the service, she and I went up to them and she hugged both
of them and asked if there was something she could do.  I thought that was
just too cool of her because her background was so parochial that she never
was able to handle the subject of homosexuality.  She never handled that her
first husband was gay very well either.  She just never wanted to talk about
gay issues and stuff.

I went out to dinner with my ex and his lover after our divorce.  His lover
and I danced a couple of dances together.  During a slow dance, I started
thinking how attractive that guy was, and you know how those thoughts go.
Then I thought, "Oh man!  How weird is this?"

Mom always said that when her first husband was in the Army during W.W.II,
she thought they did something to him overseas that screwed him up, and
that's how he ended up being gay.

Must have been the day he bent over to pick up the soap.

Betty