Hi Joy,

    Thank you for the kind words!! I find that children and teens are
intelligent thinking people (something some adults who functions from a
reactionary gut level - could take lesson in....) and I treat them as such.
I never treated any topic as something my child was to young to know about
but geared what she learned to her age. I believe the best defense is to
give people good knowledge - not tell them something is bad and not to do it
- becasue that only makes it more attractive. I was flummoxed almost 7 years
ago when they put Amber 15 year old step-sister on birth control pills. I
registered my protest and was told to get real. I have emphasised with Amber
that is an adult activity - to be done with someone you love - that your
body is not a toy, and you don't have to do everything when you first can. I
suggested she wait until she is 18 or 20 and has a serious relationship - I
could still off be base. I assume we will have to revisit this in the future
but for now - my little girl is happy being a little girl. Blessed Be!!! I
was floored last year when her friend Nadia - who's mother has a large gap
in morals and a very mouth without a sense of propriety - enlightened her
kid as to BJ's - who promptly told my kid. When I ask who BJ was - Amber was
Mom - its a BlowJob - get real we use modern terms. Yeah Mom - Get Real!!!
Let's face it - Hollywood leaves nothing to the imagination - I have
stumbled across stuff on the Internet - I could have gone my entire life
without seeing. As long as people make things bad and forbid them - other
folks are going to sensationalize them. If you treat stuff as natural and
normal and educate people they can make a rational decision when and where
and whether or not they want to do something. If not, it becomes whispered
conversation, and stuff to try. Its a tough subject to discuss - however as
far as I am concerned when you can physically reproduce its time to put the
cards on the table, so it doesn't happen.

   You are right - Amber has her own e-mail account. I do not monitor it. I
have given her age approapriate lessons the stuff she needs to know - and
she knows how to handle most topics. She understood about gay when she was
8. Babies when she 4. She deals with well, she discusses stuff with her
friends and then may double check something with me. Okay so once in a Blue
Moon - I would love to be off planet - for a question, it still gets an
answer and the truth. People forget - children and teens are cognizant
people all their lives - they don't suddenly become thinking adults at age
21 - if you don't have a thinking 6 year old - you won't have a thinking 18
year old.

    I one read question here about some aid thing and looked it up - becasue
the questioner didn't answer me when I ask what it was. I looked it up  OH
MY!!! I was ........  Yes. I was........ wordless. I feel we taught people
about sex and intimacy - there would be a lot fewer relationship problems.
Something you spend 1% of your life doing shouldn't dictate your
relationships. Each one of us that has kids - makes the choice of
reproducing the same silly behavior that shackles us - or moving beyond them
and helping our kids thru understanding ourselves and growing.

                 Brightest Blessings
                   Trisha


>Thanks for the compliment.  It's nice to know that at least a few people
>don't think that all teenagers are naive, self-centered, hooligans.  As
>for
>the original post, I didn't have a problem with it.  I think it would be
>very hypocritical for any parent to.  Part of giving your child their
>own
>e-mail account means trusting them to deal with subjects that might come
up.
If you don't think they can handle mature discussion, don't let them get
e-mail that you don't read first.  They're going to have to be exposed
to
the world at some point... it might as well be from a group of caring,
experienced, adults.  I didn't think Trisha was endorsing anal and oral
sex,
just relating some of the difficulties she'd had in the dating world.
Isn't
this list all about sharing experiences?

~Joy~
[log in to unmask]
http://www.geocities.com/joy0823
"Forget regrets, or life is yours to miss." - Mimi in RENT

----- Original Message -----
From: "Michael H. Collis" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, May 08, 2000 8:11 PM
Subject: Re: [DateAbilities] GETTING TO KNOW YOU SURVEY FOR SINGLES


> I have no qualms about the maturity of most
> of the teenagers on this list.  They seem more mature than I was at
that
> age... :)
> M.