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-----Original Message-----
From: Kathy Pink [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Wednesday, September 04, 2002 2:45 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Sensitivity (Was: Re: Re: Disney)


Kyle,

Do you use Outlook or Outlook Express?  -Kathy






--- "Cleveland, Kyle E."
<[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I know this is an old thread, but Outlook's
> default displays my messages
> newest to oldest.
>
> I agree sincerely, Deri, that aging folks often
> feel as they are being left
> on life's rubbish pile--especially in Western
> cultures where youth and
> physical beauty are the ideal.
>
> I also agree that it is as important to allow
> folks to serve you as it is to
> serve others.  I can do many things (fewer as I
> age, though), but I do enjoy
> giving people the satisfaction of "helping" me
> do something I know I can
> manage on my own.  We all feel good when we
> help others (most of us,
> anyway).
>
> I think the man in Kat's case, though, went
> beyond the pale in making a
> show.  I could be wrong; I wasn't in his head
> to know his motive.  I do know
> that most of us CPers also need to feel
> "useful" and "needed".  It certainly
> presents a conundrum when both parties need to
> feel the world "needs" them,
> no?
>
> -Kyle
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Deri James
> [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: Friday, August 30, 2002 5:01 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Sensitivity (Was: Re: Re: Disney)
>
>
> On Wednesday 28 Aug 2002 2:47 pm, Cleveland,
> Kyle E. wrote:
> > Nope. Kat, you did right.  I'm sure your tact
> was spot on, too.
> > The old line, "they're just trying to be
> helpful" may be true, but
> > it usually comes from folks who don't know
> what it's like to be
> > "singled out" for assistance. I don't mind if
> someone asks
> > off-handedly, "Can I help you out?", but
> "grandstanding" about
> > being helpful embarrasses the "helpee" and
> makes the "helper" look
> > like an ass.  Let him worry about his own
> "manly pride".  You did
> > what needed to be done--most of us have been
> in your shoes.
> >
> > -Kyle
>
> Basically I agree, but, considering the guys
> age (70) I can appreciate
> his desire to be "useful". As you age it
> becomes harder to feel that
> you are "needed", kids have left home -
> independent now, may be a
> widower. The "helper" often receives more
> benefit than the "helped".
>
> I almost always accept help (and give
> gratitude) to anyone who offers
> to help, even things I can do myself, because I
> consider I'm helping
> them by accepting!!
>
> Cheers
>
> Deri


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