Hi Yvonne,
I can't predict how things will be for Anthony but I can tell you -
things have been fine for Amber. In fact the kids have always gone out of
there way to help Amber - as have the adults. I think that the educational
process has done a lot as well as other social changes - It is important to
realize that changes seem to happen gradually - I was prepared to have a
much harder time with Amber and Society than it has proven to be. Please
remember children are more accepting of things - they are all wonder at
first and then they go back to playing. There has been much education - A
friend of mine piloted a program at the High School level for other high
school kids to work with disabled ones. He recieved wonderful recognition
and the school has follwed up by adopting his program, and I met the boy he
had worked with at his birthday party. There are little things - that will
always be that's the way it is until someone challenges it - Amber is the
first disabled child in the Gifted/Talented School Based program in Fairfax
County - After the initial shock - they are adjusting. Now from the mindset
of - a phyical disablity = a mental disablity we are moving into - gee, they
can be genius' too. And are. What I have found as I tend mention Amber and
her CP naturally - many people I talk to have someone in their family that
is disabled. Amber was in a pilot program when she was in kindergarten. One
thing to keep in mind here - is you generally find what you a looking for -
I see lots of disabled out and about - I was at the Smithisonian Tuesday and
there was a whole school for the phyiscally challenged there visiting from
New York. It is also to be remember sometimes the disabled's family is just
as much of a stumbling block as anyone else in society. The boy that Micah
worked with in high school - and should have gone on to college - has been
denied that choice by his family - not society. There will always be some
people who react badly to stuff that is different - this is the way of the
Big Uglies - I am reading a book by Harry Turtledove - written from an alien
prespective - he does a wonderful job of protraying us in all our glorious
illogic. All I can say is - keep a positive outlook, look for the good, take
time to educate frequently and nicely, keep in mind not everyone operates
from the level of compassion and intellgence as you do, and remember the
world mirrors back what you put out. And we tend to stare at anything and
everything that isn't status quo - I collect lots of stares for my height
4'10" and my overwhelmingly pale blonde hair - which people even come up and
touch in wonder. I guess you have to be truely mundane not to have someone
stare for some reason. Keep in mind - you assign the motive to the person
staring - they could be staring into space and you happen to be in the way
or they may want to approach you in a friendly fashion and haven't figured
out how to yet. Peoples fragile egos make life a minefield - I am sure you
know that with your job. Sending you lots of hugs
Trisha
-----Original Message-----
From: Yvonne Craig [SMTP:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2000 9:41 AM
To:
Subject: Re: The Before time
Well, I'm listening and you are scaring the hell out of me. I had
hoped =
things were changing just a little. I am prepared for the day my son
comes =
home from school crying 'cause he was teased. I am prepared for his
grief, =
his anger and frustration when it dawns on him that he is different
=
physically from his peers. What I'm NOT prepared for is to watch him
have =
to learn to accept the unacceptable "little things" as "that's the
way it =
is". I HATE that anyone has to live like that.
Yvonne
Mommy to Anthony (spastic quad CP)
>>> [log in to unmask] 05/22/00 09:36AM >>>
I agree Ken. There are so many "little things" we encounter everyday
that =
we
shrug off as "that's the way it is". The stares, the smirks, the
"gee I =
didn't
know....". Even if we could remember it all, we couldn't tell it
because =
no
TAB would take time to listen.
Bobby
>>I don't understand why disabled people I knew in the "before time"
=
didn't
>>tell me about some of these things. Maybe they thought I wouldn't
have
>>listened.
>they listen, but just don't hear. just this week end my wife and i
were
>talking about college entrance test. she just ask my scores. i told
here =
and
>she said "my lord, why did you go into the government?" i told her
about
>graduating in the top 10 % of my class and being offered a job,
making
>brooms." went over the other cases of discrimination and the fact
there =
was
>no ADA. went over the fact that i should be 2-3 grades higher with
the
>quallity of work i did (even in the government). now this is my
wife. she
>has heard most of this before and still does not understand
completely.
>
>>Mainstream media doesn't tell our stories the way they should be
told. =
I
>
>these people think they can spend the night on the street and know
what =
it
>is like to be homeless, but they don't because they know that
tomarrow =
night
>they will be warm and comfortable. they think they can roll around
for a
>day in a wheelchair or blindfolded and understand what it is like
to be
>disabled, but they do not, because they know that tomarrow they
will be
>walking, or seeing. part of disability is knowing that you'll not
every =
play
>3rd base the way your brother does, that you'll never be on a
highschool
>team, you can't even serve your country in the service. you know
that 90 =
%
>of the opposite sex would not even thing about dating you, even
those =
that
>are your friends would not ever consider you in a "dating way."
>part of being disabled is knowing that tomarrow will be the same,
the =
next
>day, the day after that and on and on you are going to be disabled,
then =
you
>get old a find that it gets worse.
> how can anyone tell our story?
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