you know, i love all you guys on this list. sometimes
you snap at the people you care about because you
can't bite the people you'd like to just punch out. i
let my frustration spill over into our discussions and
our relationship. i am not really frustrated and angry
with you guys, i am frustrated and angry with the
bureaucrates at the dept of labor. just like most of
you i was born a person with a disability. we all know
that. but the cp was not a total disability with me, i
still had enough of ability to go to work. in 1973 cp
was not total disability, in 1983 it was not total
disability, in 1993 it was not. in 2003 my doctor told
me i had repetitive stress injuries and had
permanantly injured my tendons and ligaments in both
arms and hands and had pulled a disk out in my neck.
it is herniated. he took me off the job. i have seen 7
doctors 5 of which daid i had work injuries that had
taken what the cp had left. 1 doctors opinion was so
far out that even dol had to drop his out of the
picture. they had 1 doctor that runs a headache clinic
that saids i just had cp. 2 physical medicine
specialist 2 normal practice neuros and one neuro that
is part of a motion disorder clinic at emory
university hospital all said i was injured on the job.
one said i was not. all six said i am now totally
disabled and even the quack said i was totally
disabled. the dol hacks goes with the one. 15 months
ago they put me on minimun benifits which is about
1200 less than i should be getting. what i get is
fully taxable so it amounts to about 1500 in spendable
money. when i finally got a hearing the woman that
came was more interested in getting finished than in
getting the facts and my lawyer,judy and me all are
pessimistic that she is going to really give us a fair
look at my case. we think that only if G-D in heaven
acts will we win this round. my lawyer says that if i
have to appeal to the next 2 levels, it may be 3 more
years before i can get a final board hearing. i can't
afford to live here and can't afford to leave. ben is
in community collage and becouse of the hope
scholarship here in georgia has no real cost. judy
needs to stay here one more year to have a small
pension built up with the georgia teachers retirement
system even though she will not draw it until she is
62. we are slowly eating away at our savings just
trying to last it out here. there is not enough to
last 3 more years. this week i spent over a 1000
dollars on ben and judys cars. 
  then today i packed up some of the best coins in my
collection to ship to dallas to be auctioned off. 
it has all just been grating on me. i am fustrated
with the bureaucrats for the absurdity that they admit
that cp is not a progressive condition, but, fail to
see the logic that if cp did not progress and i worked
30 years with co then something additional (a job
injury) had to be the difference if i can now not
work.
  i am frustrated and quite angry with them, but, then
i snapped at you guys. i am really sorry about that. i
can only hope you see where it came from by reading
all of this.   


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