Hi Mike, Rayna, and All,

   I am going to be truly single this fall ( kids off to college) altho, I have been "single" now for 10 years. I have seen it from both sides. I quit dating several years ago becasue I noticed folks have a laundry list of items that people are suppose to be or have in order to be considered worthy. Most of the nits - weren't worth a second look in the first place. I think we watch too many movies and sicky sweet TV and expect reality to look like it. I would be more interested in hearing what the happily married folks have to say about their marriages and what its taken to keep them. I think it takes less time thinking about ourselves and less time worrying about being happy 24/7 - which is unrealistic. I think everyones knows I love Amber, but there are times I really don't like her actions but I don't divorce her - I recognize she not here to be what I think she is suppose to be - but who she is suppose be - and what I people doing is trying to make people be, who they think they should be so they will be happy and not allowing them to be themselves. Plus we are all responsible for our own happiness, not someone else. So in about a year ask me how I like living with just the cats and the dog. Having good friends helps. Being realistic helps too - there has never been a time when there haven't been single people, the getting married and living happily ever after with your 2.5 kids is a myth. It has all the reality of life really being like the Brady Bunch. Life is what you make out of it every day. It doesn't come with promises, guarantees, pink ribbons and sunshine. I am out to lunch on getting married again, heck I am not even sure I ever want to date again. 

                                      Trisha


> Hi Rayna and Asdis.
> 
> It's not just you womem which are having a rough time finding a mate.
> Some men with disanbilities are also having a hard time finding mates.
> I know I am...I guess I'll remain single for the rest of my life,
> because at 49, I'm too old  to get a mate, and too set in my ways.
> Marriages takes a lot of give snd take on both  sides, not just on the
> women's part..  I found that out in 2002., when I was in  a
> ewlationship.  I am still single with no prospects of a marriage.
> Being single, as well as being married, does have its rewards, but I
> would say being married to the wrong person is a lot worse than being
> single.  I use my disability as a screening tool.  If females want to
> know me after I tell them I have a disability, I let them, if not  I
> just say to myself, "Next!" and move on...Life's too short to waste on
> morons.who have "Intellitus," which is hardening of the grey matter;
> My $.02.
> 
> [log in to unmask] wrote:
> 
> >Hi Asdis, Well, your message has temporarily propelled me out of lurkdom=2E=
> >=20
> >What you wrote struck a chord with me as it is what I am struggling with a=
> >t
> >the moment - especially with my thirtieth birthday coming up in February=2E=
> >=20
> >I have never had any kind of intimate (emontional and/or physical)
> >relationship with a man with the exception of a 11 month `one night stand'=
> >
> >several years ago which was just sex (and not much of that!)=2E  And like
> >yourself, the prospect of being alone for the rest of my life is not a
> >happy one=2E
> >