In the '40s and '50s through early '60s my parents minimally had the support
of their families.  My mother was a pioneer in starting a UCP chapter and
the "village" was the neighborhood.  What else they needed was in short
supply and they usually were a few scarce dollars above qualifying for
financial support.  Since I attended a school for disabled children
therapies and reasonable accommodations were usually available.  Downside I
never liked being tagged disabled and being separated from my neighborhood
friends--disliked that even more when a teen.  Upside I was enabled and
empowered and directed to a fairly successful adulthood.

The Village is a nice concept far as concepts go.  Apparently we've too much
atomized the nuclear family.  The internet's turned out to be another way
for people to break through isolation.  I sure hope today's parents find
more support and acceptance.  Seems pretty mixed so far from what I've been
reading here.  Also be advised that collective responsibility requires
collective accountability.  There's always a need and tendency to interfere
with parental primacy in the raising off children.  "It's a matter of
balance."

See this stuff's over forty years old and I still recall my folks struggle.
Course they had a spitfire kid.






----- Original Message -----
From: "Betty Alfred" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, May 31, 2000 12:12 PM
Subject: Surrogate grandparents


> This reminds me of the Bob Dole/Hillary Clinton squabble about whether it
> takes the parents or village to raise a child.  Bob Keeshan (Capt.
Kangaroo)
> settled the argument by saying "it takes both."
>
> With utmost respect to the Captain, my first hero after my Dad, it seems
to
> me that it takes the parents to raise the child with the support of the
> village.  I mean to imply that parents are the sole authority.  I'm sure
Mr.
> Keeshan didn't mean otherwise, but there seems to be a growing trend
toward
> the village having more say than it should.  That's why I make this
comment,
> but I would stress that it is only my ever-so-humble opinion
>
> All in all, this topic causes me to wonder how families who have children
> with disabilities fare in this regard.  Do parents on the list feel as
though
> they have the support of their respective "villages?"
>
> In a message dated 05/31/2000 7:08:20 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask]
> writes:
>
> > you know we are being  light hearted, as we are always, but, i try to be
> >  sure that both sara and benjamin get to see their grandma and grandps s
as
> >  much as possible. i lost one grandmother early.
> >    my dad was at a meeting of some kind and a little girl called him "pa
pa"
> >  (a short for grandpa in middle alabama), her mother told her that he
was
> not
> >  "her" pa pa, she replied "he looks like a pa pa" and dad said "i guess
if i
> >  look like a pa pa" then i can be your papa." this is very cute. my
point
> >  though is that kids need grandparents abd if death or other things take
> >  their grandparents, it is a smart parent that lets someone be an
"adopted
> >  grandparent.
> >
>