Anything like a priss? Ah, Steven, if you only knew! ; 0
L.

----------
> From: I. S. MARGOLIS <[log in to unmask]>
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: [DateAbilities] GETTING TO KNOW YOU SURVEY FOR SINGLES
> Date: Monday, May 08, 2000 9:26 PM
>
> "Priggy" is an ism: a diminutive and term of endearment.
>
> Perhaps you and the Trisha-Lister both over-stated?
>
> Nonetheless: I prefer open and free expression, no censorship.
>
> S.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Laura Cleveland" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: Sent: Monday, May 08, 2000 7:42 PM
> Subject: Re: [DateAbilities] GETTING TO KNOW YOU SURVEY FOR SINGLES
>
>
> > What's a priggy? Must be an east coast thing.
> >
> > I was refering to our list manager's request to keep in mind the teens
who
> > are the list.
> > In the words of Alanis Morrisette, "Isn't it ironic, don't you think?"
> >
> > L.
> > ----------
> > > From: I. S. MARGOLIS <[log in to unmask]>
> > > To: [log in to unmask]
> > > Subject: Re: [DateAbilities] GETTING TO KNOW YOU SURVEY FOR SINGLES
> > > Date: Monday, May 08, 2000 7:17 PM
> > >
> > > Priggy.  Priggy. Priggy.  Here little Priggy.
> > >
> > > Are you suggesting it's better to do than to read?
> > >
> > > Someday teenagers grow up.
> > >
> > > Nothing like education from knowledgeable sources.
> > >
> > > S.
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: "Laura Cleveland" <[log in to unmask]>
> > > To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > > Sent: Monday, May 08, 2000 4:34 PM
> > > Subject: Re: [DateAbilities] GETTING TO KNOW YOU SURVEY FOR SINGLES
> > >
> > >
> > > > Excuse me! I thought we had teenagers on this list! Do you think
your
> > > > answer to # 20 is appropriate--i.e. would you want Amber reading a
> > > response
> > > > such as this?
> > > > L.
> > > >
> > > > ----------
> > > > > From: Trisha Cummings <[log in to unmask]>
> > > > > To: [log in to unmask]
> > > > > Subject: Re: [DateAbilities] GETTING TO KNOW YOU SURVEY FOR
SINGLES
> > > > > Date: Monday, May 08, 2000 1:10 PM
> > > > >
> > > > > Hi Mike,
> > > > >
> > > > >        Cool, did you think of this? I altered some of the
questions
> > to
> > > > bring
> > > > > out the more inportant points. I am not looking for anyone to
date
> at
> > > the
> > > > > moment - I am dating 3 guys now - all of whom think I walk on
> water -
> > > > which
> > > > > of course I do - in the form of ice!! LOL But I answered anyway!!
> > > Several
> > > > of
> > > > > the questions required a bit of bathtub mulling time.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > > 1.  When is your birthday?  6/22/53  (46 for at least another
> > month)
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 2.  Have you ever been married, and if so how many times ( not
an
> > > > > > unreasonable now - with the third divorce rate up to 16%)?
Yes, 3
> > > > times
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 3.  Do have a child/ren, anything special about them?  Yes, one
> > living
> > > > > > daughter with Cerebral Palsy, and one Angel.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 4.  Do you have a recent (within a year) photo of yourself you
can
> > > > attach
> > > > > > to
> > > > > > e-mail or on a web page I can see? I would drop this to then
end
> > and
> > > > then
> > > > > > rephrase - I never reply to anyone who has to have my pricture
-
> > they
> > > > are
> > > > > > just too shallow. It is far better to get to know someone's
> > > personality
> > > > > > than see them. Our preception or feelings  about people color
our
> > view
> > > > of
> > > > > > their looks. I would place no emphasis on looks - 30 seconds
can
> > turn
> > > > Ms.
> > > > > > America into Ms. Frankenstein.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 5.  Do you practice any religion?  Paganism
> > > > > > If so, where do you attend religious services? Mount Vernon
> > Unitarian
> > > > > > Church, and as a Pagan Preistess I hold circles at my house.
> > > > > >
> > > > >              More inportantly than what the label of the religion
is
> > and
> > > > is
> > > > > how spiritually motivated the person is - you need to find out if
> > they
> > > > are
> > > > > tolerant to others beliefs. I date across faiths, I am dating a
> > > > Unitarian, a
> > > > > Jew and a Quaker - at the moment. The only set of beliefs I place
> > > outside
> > > > of
> > > > > consideration for any prolonged exporsure to - is the cult - Born
> > Again
> > > > > Christians. I adore going to Mass, and Unitarian services.
> > > > >
> > > > > > 6.  Are you employed? Fulltime or part-time   Yes, both
> > > > > >      What's your employment? Fulltime I am a Data Analyst, and
> > > > part-time I
> > > > > > am a fine jewelry associate in a marjor department store.
> > > > > >
> > > > >            Additional ask about education and degrees.
> > > > >         What is your education level? Post Graduate
> > > > >         What is any degrees do you hold? I have a BS in CIS
> > > > >         What id an future educational plans do you have - I am 2
> > courses
> > > > > from my first Masters In CIS, will be getting a second one and
going
> > on
> > > > to a
> > > > > PHD.
> > > > >
> > > > > > 7.  Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Hopefully teaching
at
> > > > Northern
> > > > > > Virginia Community College or one of the other umpteen higher
> > > > educational
> > > > > > Institutes we have here, and beginning my PhD, putting my kid
thru
> > > > > > college. Having a SO would a plus.
> > > > > >
> > > > >              I would change this to 5 years - 10 years is a very
> long
> > > > time.
> > > > > My answer is based on 5 time period.
> > > > >
> > > > > > 8.  What state do you live in?  Virginia
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Would you be willing to relocate if we decided to become a
couple?
> > > Why
> > > > do
> > > > > > they have to be the one to move? The partner with the least
> > invested
> > > > > > should be willing to move. ie - I was willing to move for Bob
> > however
> > > ,
> > > > I
> > > > > > have a great deal invested in this area,  my employment, place
of
> > > > > > education, continutity for child, own a home and have aging
> > parents,
> > > > that
> > > > > > make moving out at lewast in the immediate future.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 9.  Do you plan to get married? NO!!!
> > > > > >
> > > > >            Rephrase this - can you see marraige in the your
future.
> > No
> > > > one
> > > > > should be looking to get married, they should be willing to
consider
> > the
> > > > > possibility with the right person - Marraige is not like a car or
a
> > > > house.
> > > > > We would have much lower divorce rate if people where more
realistic
> > > > about
> > > > > marriage instead being something you do as an adult like buying a
> > car.
> > > > >
> > > > >                 Yes, I will marry solely for love.
> > > > >
> > > > > > 10.  Do you want to have a child or additional children?  No
> > > > >                Would you accept someone else's existing children?
> > Yes
> > > > >
> > > > > > 11.  Do you like animals? not really   UGH  Mike !!!  Unless
you
> > are
> > > > > > allergic to them ot loath them - this is not incredibly
important.
> > And
> > > > > > frankly I would want to know if they had a pet BOA......!!!
> > > > >                Do you have pets? if so what kind?   Yes, 3 cats
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > > 12.  What's the thing you like most about yourself?  I like the
> > fact I
> > > > am
> > > > > > 4'10", I adore my blonde hair and blue eyes, and I enjoy being
a
> > dolly
> > > > for
> > > > > > myself to dress up.
> > > > > >
> > > > >               Ummmmm  ... How about what do feel are the positive
> > > aspects
> > > > of
> > > > > you personality and thought processes. I really love and care for
> > > others,
> > > > I
> > > > > am unjudgemental, highly logical and walk on the sunny side of
the
> > > street
> > > > (
> > > > > ie find positive regardless).
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > > 13.  What's the thing you like least about yourself? The extra
35
> > > > pounds!!
> > > > > >
> > > > >               Hmmmm.... how about - what areas do you feel you
could
> > > > improve
> > > > > or are working to improve yourself in. Self imagine/self
esteem.Not
> > > > holding
> > > > > my self to standards of prefection, and then giving myself grief
> when
> > I
> > > > > stumble. Treating myself with the same love and understanding
that I
> > > have
> > > > > for others.
> > > > >
> > > > > > 14.  What's your "disability"/"challenge"?  I was a premie, and
> > have
> > > > > > internal organ deformities, fragile lungs, and rebuilt feet.
Minor
> > > > brain
> > > > > > damage due to stroke - affects speech in that I am not always
able
> > to
> > > > say
> > > > > > the word I mean or produce sentences of purely unrelated
gobbled
> > gook.
> > > > > > Severe skeletal/neurological/internal organ damage sustained
> during
> > > > abuse.
> > > > > > I have PTSD from years of physical/sexual/emotional abuse.
> > Recurring,
> > > > > > uterine cancer. Pericardal spasms. Migraines.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 15.  When did your last romantic relationship end? a year ago
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Are you still in touch with that person? unfortunately yes
> > > > > >
> > > > > > What feelings do you have for that person now? I love them very
> > much
> > > > but
> > > > > > understand we are not compatible do to maturity issues.
> > > > > >
> > > > >            Mike - it is a very important clue how people answer
> this.
> > Do
> > > > not
> > > > > write anything negative - this would be the first warning sign
for
> me
> > to
> > > > > avoid someone. Any relation and break-up requires two people -
and
> > they
> > > > were
> > > > > your choice in the first place and maybe bad judgement on your
> part -
> > ie
> > > > not
> > > > > listening to them and discarding them early on - created the
> > situation.
> > > > This
> > > > > attitude also means they haven't gotten past it. You make the
choice
> > as
> > > > how
> > > > > you fel about something, and once its over - its needs to be over
-
> > > > before
> > > > > you start again. I also would avoid anyone could not forgive and
get
> > > past
> > > > > stuff - We all screw up and sometimes badly - then non acceptance
of
> > > > > someones mistakes means they will also be this judgemental with
me -
> > and
> > > > > others. It is also a sign they haven't moved past the incident
yet.
> > You
> > > > > don't need anyone hung up on the past. The here and now is what
is
> > > > > important, and you can't be here and now and spouting venom for
the
> > > past.
> > > > > and having no feelings for someone - means no feels not negative
> > ones. I
> > > > > forget Amber father even exists.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > > 16.  What medications, if any, do you take? Narcotics for pain,
> > Soma
> > > > for
> > > > > > muscles spasms, Anaprox for PMS, Tavist D for allergies, lots
of
> > > > > > antiobiotics for frequent infections, chemo seriously weaked
> immune
> > > > > > system. Valium for dental visits. Something for my migranes -
all
> > > > except -
> > > > > > Tavist D are on an as needed basis,
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 17.  Ever been arrested?  Nope
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 18.  Ever been in a mental hospital?  no, but its sounds great
- I
> > > have
> > > > > > always wanted to lose my mind and be a happy blithering idiot
> > someone
> > > > else
> > > > > > had to care for.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 19.  Do you smoke cigarettes?  Social smoker !!
> > > > > > drink alcohol? Social drinker only
> > > > > > use marijuana or take other recreational drugs?  nope - take
> enough
> > > > > > regular ones!!!
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 20.  Do you believe sex before marriage is okay?  I think a
more
> > > > general
> > > > > > question  as to someones attitude towards sex is more
important.
> > > Almost
> > > > > > everyone has some sexual perferences or hang-ups. Sex and
Marriage
> > > > > > actaully have nothing to do with each other. Sex is a hormonal
> > driven
> > > > urge
> > > > > > to reproduce. Marraige is a commitment to a relationship with
> > someone
> > > > > > else. Something one does 1% of the time should not be the
reason
> > one
> > > > gets
> > > > > > married or the reason one gets unmarried. One's ridgitiy
thought
> > and
> > > an
> > > > > > inability to compromise - items which go beyond sex, but
> frequently
> > > > come
> > > > > > out with sex first, are stumbling blocks. Also, women are more
> > rigid
> > > > about
> > > > > > stuff being dirty, than guys. Both sides need to be able to
> > > compromise.
> > > > > > What I see to often with marraiges is the partner has become
the
> > > > opponant
> > > > > > becasue of a different view rather than a partner with which
ones
> > > finds
> > > > a
> > > > > > middle ground. I have a had several guys whose most important
> > question
> > > > to
> > > > > > answer was - Do I do Blowjobs or anal - As far as I am
concerned -
> > > that
> > > > is
> > > > > > illevant at the first contact/ dating stage. I certainly never
ask
> > > > period.
> > > > > > They may never get a second date - so why was it important?
Also
> > > > remember
> > > > > > social moreys on sex change with age, and belief systems. It is
> > much
> > > > more
> > > > > > important to know how the person feels about sex and their
birth
> > > > control
> > > > > > issues than actually taking them for a test drive. There is a
> world
> > of
> > > > > > difference between sex as a recreational sport, and that of sex
as
> > an
> > > > > > intimate loving act. It was discovered it takes years before
> people
> > > > > > cactually become truely intimate and it requires mores than
sex.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 21.  Are you dating anyone now?  yes three guys
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 22.  Describe your ideal mate (person). Describes
> > > > > > qualities/characteristics or personality traits you would like
in
> > > mate.
> > > > >                Honesty, cleaniness, reliability, intelligence,
lack
> > of
> > > > being
> > > > > judgemental, good self-esteem, gentleness, ability to control
> temper,
> > > > love
> > > > > of reading and traveling ablility to interface with children and
> > pets.
> > > > >
> > > > > > 23.  Describe your ideal date (place or activity). What ones
does
> > is
> > > > > > irrelvant - it who one does it with that matters. Ask about a
list
> > of
> > > > > > actitivites/places they like - mountains. beach, forest,
> traveling,
> > > > > > photography, handicrafts, SETI, Sci-fi.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 24.  Do you feel most loved by getting a gift, hearing the
words
> "I
> > > > love
> > > > > > you"
> > > > > > or another person spending time with you? Rephrase to what is
> > greatest
> > > > > > gift someone can give you. To me it is when someone takes time
> > mention
> > > > my
> > > > > > positive aspects or compliments me - It means they have
actaully
> > paid
> > > > > > attention and noticed me. The terms I love and someone spending
> > time
> > > > with
> > > > > > can still be all about them and their needs - not yours. Today
in
> > the
> > > > age
> > > > > > of me ism most people primary concern is themselves another
reason
> > > > > > relatationships don't work. Its not about getting what you want
or
> > > even
> > > > > > what you think you want. I am fairly sure even the happiliest
> > married
> > > > > > folks will tell you its a lot of hard work, patient and giving
to
> > the
> > > > > > other - not unlike taking care of child. Life is not as they
say -
> > All
> > > > > > about me" and the most unhappy people seem to be the ones who
> think
> > it
> > > > is.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > >
> >