Hi-

Well I have alwasy had the same problem but a few people did come along---one
in piticular -- in fact I met her when I was your daughters age.  We were in
the same Jr Girl Scout Troop---I would highly recomend some orginization like
this for kids this age.  They may not be able to participate in alll the
activities but you can figure out ways to do about 90-95% depending on your
level of disability. Anyway back to my story.  We go by the same name but are
spelled difrent--mine is Anee and her;s is Anne.  She is TAB (temporarily
able bodied) and I have moderate CP.  She is an only child and I have one
sibiling who is 9.5 years older than I.  Over the years we have come to be
sisters and are famillies are like blood.  I call her gandma, grandma and I
consider her her parents to be my parents as she dose mine.  In fact the
family continuly plays tricks on others by saying that we are sisters or such
as I and Anne's mom both have red hair and Anne is a blond.  However Anne is
1.5 feet taller than I am.  We are quite a pair.  We both can't find clothes
to fiit but for the oppsit reaons--I am short at 5'0 and she is tall at 6'4.

  I was very lucky to achive this friendship and I woulcd not be were I am
today--litteraly---with out it.  I was the bridsmaid at her wedding last
summer and that's how I found out abput the college I am attending.  Even
with all the medical problems I have been having lately I really could not be
in a better place and I owe it all to my sister Anne.  If not for her I would
be 21 and still sitting at home going to comunity college for the 3rd year in
a row no were near even making plans for presuing grad school.  I have been
very blessed by this friendship.  I know we all can't be this lucky and it is
not something that parents can acchive for there children.  It simply has to
happen.  You simply have to be in the right situation at the right time.  I
have many disabled fiends.  I have some TAB friends now in college but did
not have that many in middle and secondary school.  But I have found that one
good friend is what really counts.

I know this did not answer your question but I thought it would be a good
story to share with all of you.

Yours,
Anee
Webmaster of CPIC
http://www.geocities.com/aneecp/CPIC.html

In a message dated 3/1/00 6:00:41 PM Mountain Standard Time, [log in to unmask]
writes:

<< This is not a political post but very personal.  I will accept email
 privately if you wish to do so.
 My daughter is ten in the fourth grade and the social issues are getting
 really hard.  Kids will play on the playground and socialize at school but
 not outside of it.  I have in the past made sure she had girlfriends over,
 playdays on the weekends.  She is getting older and it's almost not my
 place anymore to be making these arrangements.  I've noticed that kids
 don't take the time to listen to her finish speaking and it's hard for them
 understand what she says.  I see them run away and go play and that she can
 not catch up and is left behind.  She drives an electric scooter at school
 and uses a handheld or a walker.  I've seen how sophisticated they are all
 getting around her.  Some are not returning phone calls either.  I think we
 are headed into unknown territory.  What else is new.  My thoughts now are
 should I keep her active in her own interests or really try to push the
 friends with the NDA kids even more.  We live in a beautiful small town,
 great school and out in the country where arrangements have to be made.
 They all seem to be in soccer ect on the weekends.  In the summer I try to
 have her see her other friend who has cp who lives far away and be around
 more kids with disablities.
 My daughter is creative and poetic and one of the bravest, strongest people
 I have ever met. She loves art and animals and so far, I think has a good
 sense of self esteem. Teenagers always appreciate her great sense of humor
 and she is so savy and can size people up within an eye blink.  She also is
 so imaginative and spends time in fantasy.  Soo any words of wisdom?  I
 can't believe the other mothers of NDA kids who are so oblivious but it's
 not their fault and thats another subject.  So I turn to all of you who
 know more than I do about friendships when you have a disablity.  It breaks
 my heart to think she may be lonely and I dont' know what to do about it.
 Or if there is anything I can do.   I don't ask for help that often but I
 am now.
 thanks ahead,
 Shawn >>