i think yours was good too.
--- Deri James <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> On Monday 07 January 2008 03:32:01 ken barber wrote:
> > oh....
>
> I suspect you didn't notice that I had re-written
> the original story (after
> first 3 paras) and was commenting that my version
> was "not so funny"!!
>
>
> Cheers
>
> Deri
>
>
> > --- Deri James <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
> > > Not so funny!!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Humans originally existed as members of small
> bands
> > > of nomadic
> > > hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the
> > > mountains during the summer
> > > and would go to the coast and live on fish and
> > > lobster in the winter.
> > >
> > > The two most important events in all of history
> were
> > > the invention of beer
> > > and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was
> > > invented to get man to the
> > > beer. These were the foundation of modern
> > > civilization and together were
> > > the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into
> two
> > > distinct subgroups:
> > >
> > >
> > > 1. Liberals
> > > 2. Conservatives.
> > >
> > > Once beer was discovered, it required grain and
> that
> > > was the beginning of
> > > agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor
> aluminum
> > > can were invented yet, so
> > > while our early humans were sitting around
> waiting
> > > for them to be invented,
> > > they just stayed close to the brewery. That's
> how
> > > villages were formed.
> > >
> > > Some men spent their days tracking and killing
> > > animals to B-B-Q at night
> > > while they were drinking beer. Their favourite
> > > hunting method was to burn the
> > > prairie and wait for woolly mamoths to stampede
> off
> > > the cliffs. This was the
> > > beginning of what is known as the Conservative
> > > movement.
> > >
> > > Other men realised that if you cared for the
> > > environment, looked after your
> > > animals, and planted fields, you did not have to
> > > chase over miles of prairie
> > > to kill dangerous animals for food, the food was
> > > right on your doorstep. This
> > > was the start of the Liberal Movement.
> > >
> > > Although the fierce hunters enjoyed their life,
> it
> > > was lonely, days away from
> > > their women, having to go further and further to
> > > find a bit of prairie they
> > > hadn't burned. But this was the way their
> > > forefathers lived - this was "the
> > > Conservative way".
> > >
> > > Meanwhile the liberal farmers soon discovered
> that
> > > if they all worked together
> > > and cooperated with each other, each
> specialising in
> > > things they were good
> > > at, they could provide more than enough food for
> the
> > > whole community. There
> > > was a surplus, they could start to do art,
> music,
> > > dance. If one of their
> > > community became sick or old, there was enough
> food
> > > for them to be looked
> > > after. They chose a donkey as a symbol to show
> that
> > > even the lowliest &
> > > dumbest creature was an important integral part
> of
> > > the community.
> > >
> > > A hunter who became injured or too old to hunt
> lost
> > > status, he either had to
> > > beg for food, or sacrifice himself as bait to a
> > > sabre tooth tiger so that the
> > > clan could kill the tiger. He would then be
> revered
> > > as a "hero".
> > >
> > > Of course, eventually all the prairie had been
> > > destroyed and the last woolly
> > > mammoth was killed, the proud hunters had to
> join
> > > the liberals. You would be
> > > wrong if you thought that was the end of the
> > > Conservatives, no, you can still
> > > see them, they're the ones who say "Why should I
> pay
> > > taxes to anyone
> > > else.", "Right to bear arms", "Survival of the
> > > fittest", "Clan/family/country
> > > comes first - fiddle sticks to the rest.",
> whilst
> > > benefitting from a world
> > > where only cooperation, altruism, and
> consideration
> > > is the only successful
> > > pattern for long term survival. Oh, and they
> still
> > > hanker after the woolly
> > > mammoth, but since they killed them all, the
> > > elephant is the closest thing.
> > >
> > > Cheers
> > >
> > > Deri
>
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