Although it can't top the original, I liked this version because it made me realize I hadn't considered how odd those terms would be to a true newb.
 
Oh, and I played with punch cards as a child because my dad was in computers from the early '60s until he retired.
 
 



> Date: Tue, 27 May 2008 09:51:40 -0600> From: [log in to unmask]> Subject: Fwd: Computers> To: [log in to unmask]> > Since there are several of us old enough to remember the "punchcard"> days, I thought this would amuse (or bemuse) the entire list ;-{)}> > > Computers> > You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too> old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For> those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please> read on...> > > > If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous> sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:> > > > COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT> > ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?> > COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking> about buying a computer.> > ABBOTT: Mac?> > COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.> > ABBOTT: Your computer?> > COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.> > ABBOTT : Mac?> > COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.> > ABBOTT: What about Windows?> > COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?> > ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?> > COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?> > ABBOTT: Wallpaper.> > COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.> > ABBOTT: Software for Windows?> > COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write> proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?> > ABBOTT: Office.> > COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?> > ABBOTT: I just did.> > COSTELLO: You just did what?> > ABBOTT: Recommend something.> > COSTELLO: You recommended something?> > ABBOTT: Yes.> > COSTELLO: For my office?> > ABBOTT: Yes> > COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?> > ABBOTT: Office.> > COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!> > ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Window's.> > COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say> I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I> need?> > ABBOTT: Word.> > COSTELLO: What word?> > ABBOTT: Word in Office.> > COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.> > ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.> > COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?> > ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.> > COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with> some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have> anything I can track my money with?> > ABBOTT: Money.> > COSTELLO: That's right What do you have?> > ABBOTT: Money> > COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?> > ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.> > COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?> > ABBOTT: Money.> > COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?> > ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.> > COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?> > ABBOTT: One copy.> > COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?> > ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.> > COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?> > ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!> > (A few days later)> > ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?> > COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?> > ABBOTT: Click on 'START'> > -- > > Kendall> > An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)> > The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one> persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all> progress depends on the unreasonable man.> > -George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950> > -----------------------> > To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:> > http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy> 
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