In a message dated 12/06/1999 7:50:57 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

<<
 > Someone else may feel differently; I don't mean to judge.  I
 > don't think people should feel obligated to answer a lot of
 > questions about their disabilities.  With children though, it
 > seems like an awareness opportunity.
 >
 > Betty
 >
 >
 All depends on the kids & the question. 13 years ago when we
 first moved into this area we used to get regularly harrassed by
 a little group of 14/15 yr olds. The game was to ring our door
 bell, ask a question ("Have you got the time Mister?") then all
 hoot with laughter at the answer.
  >>

I was thinking of much younger children Deri.  I was in a shopping center
last year and somebody threw an open packet of barbecue sauce and hit my
wheelchair.  I didn't see who did it, but I'd be willing to wager that it was
a teenage prank.  I keep thinking I would feel a little more afraid if
somebody had come to my home though, like they did to you.

I didn't realize about some adult hostilities and the psychology connected
with that.  Maybe this is different, or maybe teenage pranks aimed at PWDs
change to hostility toward PWDs later in life.  Maybe the teenage pranks are
a form of hostility.

I've noticed on a select few occasions, if I don't accept someone's "offer"
of help, I get a little hostility in return.  Once some guy offered to help
me get in my car.  I thanked him but told him I was okay.  I really was
polite and had no reason to be rude.  But his response was "Well, f*** y**
then."  I am still trying to figure out how I earned that.  I've noticed this
on two other occasions so far, but that was the worst.  It wasn't a big deal
in the long run, but I wonder about it sometimes.

I'm not a psychologist, so I'd love to know what the deal is about getting
hostile if a disabled person doesn't need your help.  I didn't encounter this
before I had a disability.  It's a new experience so I think and wonder about
why it happens.  Does anyone else ever encounter this?

Betty
tagline impaired -- help me