In a message dated 11/21/2000 5:13:36 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

> Betty: I'm so glad you feel comfortable sharing with all of us.  I love
>  hearing other people vent, because it helps me to validate my own feelings.
>  If you ever want to talk, feel free to IM me or e-mail personally. <hugs>
>
>  ~Joy~
>
I'm glad you said that Joy.  It really does feel good to be frank about my
feelings, I must admit.  I have felt somewhat reserved about sharing the
totality of my emotions, partly because this is a CP list, and I have "other
initials," and partly because I have been in male-dominated professions for
so long that I have unconsciously borrowed the philosophy that it's best to
pretend to "suck it up."

That is not intended to be a slur to the guys.  Men have long been taught to
suppress their emotions.  They've done the best possible job to comply with
society's expectation.  Unfortunately, it doesn't completely work.  There
must be a healthy relief valve -- there must!

My husband never learned that and that's why we ended up getting divorced.
His pent up emotions would come out eventually, usually in the form of
physical threats to coworkers, to subordinates, and finally to me.  I've seen
similar behavior with fellow firefighters after high-stress emergency
response calls.  Critical incident stress counseling was long in coming to
the fire service and law enforcement agencies.

I've gotta share.  We've gotta share.  Sharing is good for the head and
heart.

I've been saying all along that it's not our disabilities, it's what they do
to us because of our disabilities.  We are in this together then, and we are
one whether we have the same disability or not.

We're like ice cream.  We come in all kinds of great flavors.

Betty the Exhausted