Hi Yvonne,

I can only imagine what a parent might feel after reading these posts.  What
can I say to a Mother when I am not a Mother myself?  I am reasonably sure
that you want the very best life has to offer for your son.  I do believe
things are changing for the better though, I truly do.  I do think that as
time goes by, and we are increasingly visible, there must naturally be a
concurrently decreasing incidence of stigma attached to having a disability.

The Children's Television Workshop (Sesame Street) promotes disability
awareness on a regular basis.  Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood has had a regular
cast member with a disability (CP too, if I'm not mistaken).  I tuned into
Zoom one day, and just happen to catch a feature about a young girl who was
blind.  She talked about how she enjoyed her back yard, etc.  All of this
television programming seems to focus on the positive, and the matter-of-fact
aspects of disability.

It seems as though children are getting a good head start in disability
awareness education.  When I was a child, disability wasn't talked about this
way.  Our education usually came after our first "disability siting," when
our parents told us to not to stare.  Any comment our parents might have made
after that probably only served to paint the disability community in a
pathetic light.

All of the adults here grew up in that social atmosphere, but your son will
not.  Only he will be able to report the state of social affairs in his
classroom and among his nondisabled peers, but one thing is certain: He has
the advantage of a savvy Mom.

The adults here didn't have that advantage, not because their parents didn't
care, but because their parents didn't have access to the disability
community in the way that you have.  Their parents didn't have access to the
educational opportunities for their children that you have (imperfect as
though that general situation may currently be).

In short, to be forewarned is to be forearmed.  Whatever may come, you will
have avenues to help you cope that you might not have had 20, 30, or 40 years
ago.  In turn, you will be better able to help your son cope.

How'd I do for not being a Mom?

Betty















In a message dated 05/24/2000 10:00:01 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

<< Well, I'm listening and you are scaring the hell out of me. I had hoped =
 things were changing just a little. I am prepared for the day my son comes =
 home from school crying 'cause he was teased. I am prepared for his grief, =
 his anger and frustration when it dawns on him that he is different =
 physically from his peers. What I'm NOT prepared for is to watch him have =
 to learn to accept the unacceptable "little things" as "that's the way it =
 is". I HATE that anyone has to live like that.

 Yvonne
 Mommy to Anthony (spastic quad CP)
  >>