I thought this was hilarious. Just wanted to share. ;-)
Yvonne
****************************************************************************
> Why did the chicken cross the road?
> 
> 
> REV JERRY FALWELL:
> Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
> people see the
> plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
> to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other
> side." Yes, my
> friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken,
> you will become
> gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out
> this abomination
> that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
> phrases like
> "the
> other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the
> road. It's as
> plain  and simple as that.
> 
> 
> KEN STARR:
> I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the
> behest of the
> president of the United States of America in an effort to  
> distract law
> enforcement officials and the American public from the
> criminal wrong doing
> our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As
> a result, the
> chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and
> elaborate
> scheme
> to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that
> reason, my
> staff
> intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided
> he co-operates
> fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will
> not be
> permitted
> to reach the other side of the road until our investigation
> and any
> Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed.
> (We also are
> investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information
> to the Rev.
> Jerry Falwell,  alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an
> effort to
> discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer,
> or at least to
> ruffle his feathers.)
> 
> PAT BUCHANAN:
> To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
> 
> DR. SEUSS:
> Did the chicken cross the road?
> Did he cross it with a toad?
> Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
> But why it crossed, I've not been told!
> 
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
> To die. In the rain.
> 
> MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
> I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
> roads without
> having their motives called into question.
> 
> GRANDPA:
> In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
> Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that
> was good enough
> for us.
> 
> ARISTOTLE:
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
> 
> KARL MARX:
> It was a historical inevitability.
> 
> SADDAM HUSSAIN:
> This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
> justified in
> dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
> 
> RONALD REAGAN:
> What chicken?
> 
> CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
> To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
> 
> FOX MULDER:
> You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
> chickens have
> to
> cross before you believe it?
> 
> FREUD:
> The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
> crossed the road
> reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
> 
> BILL GATES:
> I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross
> roads, but will
> lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
> checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part
> of  eChicken.
> 
> EINSTEIN:
> Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
> beneath the
> chicken?
> 
> BILL CLINTON:
> I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean
> by chicken?
> Could you define chicken please?
> 
> LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
> The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
> chicken crossed the
> "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
> 
> THE BIBLE:
> And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
> chicken, "Thou
> shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, 
> and there was
> much
> rejoicing.
> 
> COLONEL SANDERS:
> I missed one?