Since there are several of us old enough to remember the "punchcard"
days, I thought this would amuse (or bemuse) the entire list ;-{)}


Computers

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and  Costello, and too
old  to REALLY understand computers, to fully  appreciate this. For
those of  us who sometimes get flustered by our computers,  please
read on...



  If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today,  their infamous
sketch,  'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:



COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

 ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help  you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my  den and I'm thinking
 about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

 ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy  one.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I  look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

 COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I  can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business.  What do you have?

 ABBOTT: Office.

 COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Window's.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say
I'm  sitting at my computer and I want to type a  proposal. What do I
need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue  'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with
some straight answers. What about financial  bookkeeping? You have
anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my  computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy  money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'

-- 

Kendall

An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
progress depends on the unreasonable man.

-George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950

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