Betty ,

Oh, man , I can really indentifly with this post.  I really hate having
Cerebral Palsy.  In fact , I have really bad emotional problems because of
it.  I really wish I didn't have CP.
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----- Original Message -----
From: Betty Alfred <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, April 27, 2000 4:10 PM
Subject: Re: acceptance of ones self was Betty's HOW/rules about the fire
dep ...


> For me too -- I am okay with some things about this, and I wish I could
> change some things and I don't talk about them.  If I just had the
mobility
> impairment and nothing else, this would be a lot easier to deal with.
> Sometimes I have energy and I can go out and do things.  Other times I'm
> wiped just from taking a shower.  Those are the hardest days because I
feel
> trapped and it does get lonely.  Then you guys are the answer to my
prayers.
>
> I don't like to talk about fatigue with nondisabled people because they'll
> throw in a comment about having the same problem.  They don't have a clue.
I
> used to work twelve to fifteen hours a day on purpose because I Ioved to
> work.  It's hard not to be able to do much sometimes.  It's hard to go
> someplace for a couple of hours and be wiped for the next three days
because
> of it.  I really hate it when somebody acts like I'm lucky that I got to
> retire early.  I am not too lazy to work, and I enjoyed working and being
in
> the hub of the nation's capitol.
>
> People whine about everything.  They whine about living in DC.  I used to
> drive to work and see the Jefferson Memorial and the Washington Monument
> every morning, and I'd think about what a great opportunity it was to live
> here.  I could go to the Smithsonian for free, I worked at the Washington
> Navy Yard and could visit the Navy and Marine Corps Museums for free at
lunch
> if I wanted.  The Navy Band is quartered at the Navy Yard too, and you
could
> hear them playing on Luetze Park during the day right about this time of
> year.  It was a great situation for somebody like me who loves John Philip
> Sousa.  People would whine about having to work at the Navy Yard though
too.
>
> The wheelchair was no sweat -- in fact I was very proud of myself for
> adapting to it so quickly.  But when I hear people complain about having
to
> work -- I hate to say this -- but sometimes I wish this could have
happened
> to them instead.  If they are too lazy to work, and don't get how it's
great
> to work, then why couldn't they be the ones who would be too weak to go
out
> of the house sometimes and have to retire.
>
> But still, life is richer now so I wouldn't change this.  It's like seeing
> the world in three dimensions for the first time in my life.  I'd change
the
> fatigue part if I could -- that's like being sick.  But the mobility
problems
> are just a challenge. Even the pain is manageable.  You really do get used
to
> chronic pain.  It's not unbearable though anyway.
>
> Well, well, well, a little unresolved anger going on here, huh?  I guess
I'm
> whining today.
>
> In a message dated 04/27/2000 11:30:19 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> [log in to unmask] writes:
>
> << For me, acceptance has come in stages. There are still aspects of
myself I
>  do not really accept.
>
>  Bobby
>
>   >the sooner one accepts their disability the better they will be in
coping
>  >with it.
>  > >>
>