Yvonne,

     I don't think of, not the trial by fire, as being naive. Innocent is
better. I find friends are people who will place you ahead of them - even if
they are busy, or having a bad time - they can still put it aside and be
there for you. This is toughie and with a little luck you may find a person
or two in your entire life like this. I have a friend Cathy - she has
Turners, and we have been friends for 24 years, and I know that she and her
husband will be there regardless - Wild horses couldn't  have kept me away
when Joe had cancer and was in the hosiptal, and I offered to donate an egg
for Cathy when she found out she couldn't have babies, hell I would have a
damn baby her - if that's what she wanted. Conversely, she has stood by thru
3 marraiges and all the other socially unacceptable things I do. Its kinds
sad as wonderful as Cathy is - when worked together - others made fun of her
- becasue has Turners and is about 4'7" and she is genuninely good - and
that always warrents ridicule too.  Maybe the best way to find such a friend
is to be such a friend.


      I am sorry you had to have this experience and were hurt. Wish you
could have learned it in a much gentler fashion.

                             Brightest Blessings and Hugs
                                  Trisha

> You're not alone, Betty. I was naive too in our "Before Time". When the =
> boys were diagnosed and everything in our lives started to crumble, =
> friends and family with whom we had been very close suddenly stopped =
> calling or returning our calls. I didn't see this coming. After all, we =
> had been there for others so assumed they would be there for us. In our =
> sleep-deprived, shell-shocked, grief-ridden state it took us a while to =
> catch on, so we actually called people to beg for some help - minimal =
> response...=20
>