In a message dated 03/21/2000 9:26:48 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

<<
         When I read this - what jumped out at me was - Your father hadn't
 ask anyone's premission to be there.   >>

Excellent point Trisha.  This was an unusual situation and advance notice was
in order.  I can imagine what the sales person might have been thinking
without knowing the full story.  The scenario of another customer in the same
dressing area is a can of worms too.  That could have lead to unnecessary
embarrassment, and potential legal problems.  There was good reason for him
to be in the dressing area, but the dressing area should be closed for that
time, and the sales person didn't have a chance to take care of things
properly.

There are two sperate issues here, and here is how I handle the first one:
When I need to shop and I know I'll need special assistance from a sales
person, I call in advance to give them a "heads up."  Having done my time in
retail, I know that there are days when it's very hard for an employee to get
things done, such as when merchandise comes in and has to be priced and put
out on the floor, or when there is a massive, advertised sale at the store.
The store is usually mobbed in the latter case, and asking for special,
time-consuming assistance can create problems.  I don't mean that we are
problems, I just mean that there is a limit to services an employee can
provide in certain store conditions.  In any event, it's polite to call in
advance when you know that time consuming or labor intensive accommodation
needs involving employees or other customers are going to play a part in your
shopping needs.

As a matter of fact, I shop at the Hecht Company here in Alexandria for
clothes and I have two problems.  First, many of the aisles in the clothes
department are very small and I can't navigate my chair through some of them
to see the clothes on the racks.  That situation isn't unique to the Hecht
Co.  The second problem is that I don't have the physical stamina to do a lot
of shopping for clothes.  I'm too fatigued after a short time to make good
purchasing decisions.  In the past, I have called the store in advance and
set up a time with an employee to come in and try on clothes.  I ask the
employee to pick out a few items representative of what I'm looking for
before I come, and I try to give her a few hours advance notice so she has
time leeway if something unusual happens in her work day.  Trisha, this is
the lower level clothes department at the Hecht's in Landmark, by the way.

When I've done it that way, everything has worked very smoothly, and the
employees are very gracious in helping me -- in a relatively stress-free
environment for both of us.

I wonder if it would help if the ADA rep for Hecht's could have e-mail
communication set up for customers who have difficulty being understood on
the phone?  That way the customer could explain his/her needs in advance, and
the ADA rep could impart that information to the employees in the specific
department where the customer with a disability will be shopping.  Just a
thought off the top of my pointy little head.

The second issue is one that needs to be taken care of.  Patting someone on
the head and calling them "honey" is incredibly patronizing, and makes a
large statement about that person's regard for those of us who have
disabilities.  Whether someone calls me "crippled" or "disabled," or "a
person with a disability" is not as important to me personally as how they
regard me (although it is not currently acceptable to refer to us as being
"crippled") Whether they regard us as equals or lessors is of primary
interest to me.  In this case, my feeling is that you were regarded as a
lessor.  That stuff has got to go, and we are the people who will have to
make it go.  I'll say that again: We are the people who will have to make it
go.  Disability awareness training can possibly help with that problem, but
it does need to be addressed.  The employee involved needs to understand who
we are: Equals in the community of humans, with the inherent right to
respectful and dignified regard.  In the right training environment, she may
be able to learn this without feeling threatened and resentful toward PWDs in
the future.  She may be acting based on what she was taught as a child.  Her
apparent assumptions may have been ingrained for so long, that it will take
time for her to unlearn them.

But...unlearn them she must.  If she is going to serve the public, and
survive in a world that is learning who we, are she absolutely must.

Trisha offered the inside scoop for the best approach to resolve this in the
Hecht Company chain, so you have the benefit of knowing which department to
start with.  Also, I didn't express my general satisfaction with the Hecht
Company in my earlier post, and I apologize.  They have always treated me
well, and I should have acknowledged that.  Word of mouth carries a lot of
weight in this world, and I am truly sorry for not reflecting the good things
that I know about the Hecht Company.

I'm very sorry Trisha...